Ep 54. Mama wants a three course meal

No Holes Barred

Knee Deep In Life, Victoria Emes

Society & Culture, Comedy, Personal Journals

5 • 2.5K Ratings

🗓️ 16 November 2021

⏱️ 52 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this week's episode of No Holes Barred, Vic and Laura openly discuss the complete minefield of parenting and how much unrealistic pressure is put on women to be the perfect mum society demands as well as a throw by throw account of how Vic will no doubt end up with a full blown mental breakdown if her daughter doesn't sleep soon. They also ask the question, what would you rather? Licking an eye ball? Or sucking a toe and share the story of the lady who discovered cheese doesn't agree with her colon. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	It's time to chat some ballads about fan-eat-its and bum.
0:06.2	No topic is of limit for these potty mouths found months.
0:10.4	So tell us all your secrets we'd like to share the truth.
0:14.4	Bad saggy tits and inner warts and ice cubes up your oof.
0:18.7	No holes barred.
0:23.4	I have incredibly dry hands, Laura.
0:25.3	Why?
0:26.1	Because I've been tiling.
0:27.8	And the adhesive in the ground literally sucks all the moisture out of your
0:33.7	epidermis.
0:34.7	So I've really saw dry hands, but I've been using my Casper Funny
0:40.2	lubrication jar of Petrailie of Jelly to, uh,
0:43.8	moisturise my face, styling.
0:45.8	But isn't it just literally like a tub of, uh,
0:50.4	Vaseline.
0:51.4	Vaseline, I was going to call it VIX.
0:53.0	Obviously you don't want to put that on your vagina.
0:56.4	That's what it is, but I need to get it to say that's an appropriate
0:59.8	course of action, I feel an appropriate course of action.
1:02.6	Is it though?
1:03.2	It's like it is my like it's like my funny sub in it.
1:06.5	You don't dip your funny directly in it.
	...

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