So there's been a nuclear attack.

Don't ask me how or why, just know that the big one has hit.

Okay, so what do we do?

There are three important steps that I want you to remember.

Step one, get inside, fast.

Step two, stay inside.

Step three, stay tuned.

Follow media for more information.

Don't forget to sign up for notify NYC

for official alerts and updates.

And don't go outside until officials say it's safe.

All right, you've got this.

So you found yourself living in New York City.

Don't ask me how or why, just know that you've made a huge mistake.

Okay, so what do you do?

There are three important steps I want you to remember.

Step one, get out of there fast.

It might not be too late to escape the corrupted soul

and drain bank account that comes with living in New York City.

Just move now.

Step two, don't trust the politicians.

You might end up complicit in the murder of thousands of elderly people

...