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Jordan, Jesse, GO!

Ep. 523: Horny Conjuring with Mat Ricardo

Jordan, Jesse, GO!

Jesse Thorn

Comedy, Society & Culture, Tv & Film

4.83.5K Ratings

🗓️ 20 March 2018

⏱️ 68 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Jordan and Jesse as they set aside their usual topic to have a nice chat with cabaret performer Mat Ricardo.  They get into the fog of horniness permeating The Magic Castle at Mat's performance the night before, the fact that Jordan can present as any type of nerd, and the time a woman used a bodily function to critique Mat's street performance.  Plus, they take calls from people who have gotten foreign objects stuck in their bodies!

Transcript

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0:00.0

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free.

0:05.2

Under the locks and throw away the keys and take coffee shoes and sex and run you.

0:10.5

It's Jordan Jesse Goh. I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.

0:14.4

Jordan Morris, boy detective.

0:16.0

Wanna get rich in real estate? We're here for ya.

0:18.6

Chiching, chiching, butter bing. Yeah, that's our famous catchphrase on Jordan Jesse Goh,

0:23.3

the world's most popular real estate podcast.

0:26.5

Today on the show, we're going to talk House flipping with Vanilla Ice, who apparently does that,

0:31.2

or did that at one point? I've just been handed a note, Jordan.

0:35.5

Oh, okay.

0:36.3

Now, the format of our show has been central to its success. Of course.

0:40.8

It's something that people actually want to learn about. It can have a direct impact on

0:44.1

their lives. It's not just a bunch of miscellaneous bullshit.

0:48.4

No, that would be a waste of everyone's time. However, I've been handed a note that says

0:54.3

Vanilla Ice is not going to be coming here today. Apparently he's going to be performing

0:59.0

Ice Ice Baby at a plumbing convention in Las Vegas.

1:02.1

Fuck. They've offered him $15,000. We had only planned to pay him $11,000.

1:07.9

So to perform Ninja Wrap on this show, well, he's got a whole rate sheet that goes all the way

1:14.6

down to for $500, he'll do the Chris Cross song I missed the bus.

1:19.2

But here's my think. I mean, for my money, that's the definitive version of I missed the bus.

1:24.7

It is. I mean, it's one of those situations where a cover really transforms.

1:29.6

Yeah, it's his nothing compares to you, I think.

...

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