Well, Hollywood's most glorious night is over.

I'm talking, of course, about that night when I sit by the fire drinking whiskey and

reading 12th-century Arthurian romances while Michael Knowles is forced to watch whatever

unseemly crap is on TV. Last night, of course, was extra special because while I was studying a

medieval legend in which the nightly dedication to the protection of femininity

conferred tremendous power on queens, wives, and maidens,

Knowles was stuck watching a bunch of molesters pretend to celebrate the women who kept silent

when they were molested so they could get to the Oscars and be celebrated by the men who molested

them and are now pretending to celebrate them. What, and evening it was? Who could forget Jimmy

Kimmel abandoning comedy completely to make this touching speech about the plight of women in Hollywood?

Any woman who wanted to could get on our trampoline and give it about, we had a lot of girls show up,

we had about ten times as many guys show up, but this is how it turned out.

Boy, you guys are excited about seeing a few girls jump on trampolines?

One jump on our trampoline?

All right.

Well, who are we standing here with?

Yes.

So, right this way.

Service up a nice steaming plate of panty.

Well, sorry, that was from the man show where they gave the award to big-breasted women.

The award was called The Juggies. That was before Jimmy Kimmel had his penis removed

to keep his career going as a weepy old woman. But the real question is this, does Hollywood

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