EP 471: How to Deal with Things You Don't Like About Your Partner with Katie
Over It And On With It
Christine Hassler
4.8 • 1.7K Ratings
🗓️ 2 October 2024
⏱️ 38 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this episode of Over It and On With It, Christine Hassler coaches Katie, who is struggling with her husband's undiagnosed ADHD and its impact on their relationship. Christine helps Katie reflect on how her husband's behaviors trigger old wounds from her childhood and offers insights into how couples can navigate challenges when their brains and emotional needs function differently. The episode dives deep into relationship dynamics, particularly how unresolved past wounds can surface in present-day partnerships.
Christine encourages listeners to think about their own relationships, especially when they are generally good but contain aspects that are frustrating or triggering. She stresses the importance of taking responsibility for one's own emotional reactions rather than expecting the partner to change or fix things. Additionally, Christine highlights how acceptance of a partner's limitations and clear communication about non-negotiables can strengthen a relationship.
Consider/Ask Yourself:
- Are you in a relationship that's generally good but with aspects that bug or trigger you?
- Do you tend to focus on evidence that your partner isn't meeting your expectations?
- How do you handle your emotional reactions when your partner frustrates you?
- What would change in your relationship if you fully accepted your partner for who they are?
Key Insights & AHA's:
- Katie's frustrations with her husband's forgetfulness are linked to her childhood wounds of abandonment and not feeling important.
- Christine helps Katie see that her husband's behavior, including conflict avoidance, may be a result of his trauma, and encourages Katie to approach the situation with more acceptance.
- By focusing on what Katie can control—her own emotional responses—rather than trying to change her husband, she can create more peace within herself.
- Clear communication about non-negotiables, such as her husband seeking treatment, can help Katie and her husband move forward.
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Social Media + Resources:
- Christine Hassler — Take a Coaching Assessment
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- Christine on Facebook
- Expectation Hangover by Christine Hassler
- @ChristineHassler on Twitter
- @ChristineHassler on Instagram
- @SacredUnionCouples on Instagram
- Email: [email protected] — For information on any of my services!
- Get on the waitlist to be coached on the show!
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is episode 471. How to deal with the things that you really don't like about your partner. |
| 0:07.2 | Welcome to Over It and On With It. I'm your host Christine Hasler and for over a decade I've been a life coach, speaker, and author. |
| 0:15.0 | Each week you'll hear me work directly with a caller as I coach them through a goal they want to accomplish or an obstacle they may be facing. |
| 0:21.0 | I'll provide a blend of practical and spiritual advice as well as tangible actions |
| 0:24.8 | you can apply to your own life. Now let's get on with the episode. Hi everybody welcome back to the show just a big shout out to everyone that was at my |
| 0:38.6 | retreat last weekend thank you so much for being there. It was such a powerful, amazing weekend. So thank you. |
| 0:47.2 | And I love today's episode because I think oftentimes we have this vision of what a relationship could be or should be. And the truth is |
| 0:55.8 | relationships especially marriages intimate partnerships, it can be really |
| 1:00.2 | challenging and no one is perfect and often the areas that really |
| 1:06.3 | bug us about our partner are where we have wounding so it's super super |
| 1:12.0 | triggering as you'll discover in today's coaching call. |
| 1:16.7 | As you're listening to this episode, consider are you in a relationship and overall it's good, but there's just something that really bugs you about your partner potentially even really triggers you? |
| 1:29.0 | Do you tend to collect evidence for all the reasons your partner isn't what you want. |
| 1:35.2 | How are you at managing your own upset when your partner upsets you versus expecting them |
| 1:41.1 | to fix it for you. |
| 1:42.8 | And finally, what would happen? |
| 1:44.8 | How would your relationship change? |
| 1:46.2 | How would your life change if you fully accepted |
| 1:49.2 | your partner for who they are? |
| 1:50.7 | Of course, the caveat to that is is we never accept abuse, violence, toxic behavior, |
| 1:57.0 | lying. I'm not talking about that. I'm more talking about the things that just bug and trigger you. So keep these questions in |
| 2:04.9 | mind when you listen to my coaching call with Katie. Before we dive in I want to |
... |
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