Ep. 464 - The Great Non-Crisis of 2018
The Andrew Klavan Show
The Andrew Klavan Show
4.8 • 22.7K Ratings
🗓️ 19 February 2018
⏱️ 47 minutes
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| 0:00.0 | Speaking as a black superhero, I would like to say that black panthers record-breaking weekend at the box office |
| 0:06.5 | proves that this is a racist country |
| 0:09.2 | because there were still 18 or 19 people who didn't go to see the film. So clearly as a nation, we still have a long way to go. |
| 0:16.1 | And again, speaking as a black superhero, I would like to point out that not everyone in America gave this movie five stars. |
| 0:22.8 | So that's racist too. Because if you didn't love this movie, you hate black people. |
| 0:27.1 | Because as you know, with all the racism and slavery and what not going on in this country, we black superheroes should be immune to criticism. |
| 0:35.3 | No matter what I do, as a black superhero, I should be recognized as super and heroic. |
| 0:40.7 | And whenever I'm not super or heroic, it should be ignored. And if I call some sort of disaster or something, it should be blamed on someone else, who is not a black superhero. |
| 0:49.8 | For instance, if a black superhero, like myself, should, well, just for instance, corruptly use the internal revenue service to silence the political speech of his opponents, it would be racist to say that that was a scandal of historic proportions that made the minor crimes of Watergate look like minor crimes. |
| 1:09.0 | After all, I am a black superhero. And if I say there's not a smidgen of corruption in the IRS, that's not lying. |
| 1:16.1 | It's just a black superhero knowingly saying things that don't happen to be true. |
| 1:21.6 | And as a black superhero, I can say authoritatively that it would be racist to accuse me of corrupting the state department to cover up my fatal mistakes in Benghazi or to accuse me of corrupting the FBI and the Justice Department to illegally spy on an opponent's political campaign. |
| 1:36.1 | When I, a black superhero, do these things, it is racist to say that I did them because I am a black superhero as you can plainly see. |
| 1:45.7 | Finally, speaking as a black superhero, let me say that the most racist thing you could do would be to erase my legacy of anti-American incompetence in order to restore the economy and the military and reestablish American leadership in the world because it would be racist for a black superhero to become little more than an irrelevant error in the great scheme of American history. |
| 2:04.5 | So if you don't want to be racist, just remain silent about the fact that I'm corrupt or dishonest or incompetent or anti-American and just sit back and enjoy the movie because you're racist and I am a black superhero. |
| 2:34.5 | I'm a trigger warning. I'm Andrew Clayton and this is the Andrew Clayton Show. |
| 3:04.5 | Well, that was our guest star who came in to do a brief opening because as you know, I never wear costumes because I am a grown-ass man. |
| 3:18.9 | But happy Washington's birthday or president's day is the ignorant call it. Michael Knowles, a former president of the United States, will be here to review Black Panther. |
| 3:29.7 | I sent him to see it. So I am. You were wondering who didn't see Black Panther this weekend. I am the person who did not go to see Black Panther. |
| 3:38.5 | However, I ate well and you can always eat well with blue apron. Blue apron is a, it's the leading meal kit delivery service in the US. I did not know that but yes it is. |
| 3:49.7 | And it's really good. I mean, we bring it to the house. We have a deliver to the house and it basically sends you the ingredients all measured out all done gives you a big card with very simple easy to read instructions. |
| 4:00.9 | And after your wife finished making it because in my house, even simple easy to read instructions are like a death wish. |
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