Ep 428: True vs. Faux Self
School of Self-Image
Tonya Leigh
4.8 • 1.1K Ratings
🗓️ 12 February 2025
⏱️ 34 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Unmasking Your True Self: Discovering Freedom Beyond the Faux Self
When we operate from our faux self, we may find ourselves making choices based on what we think we should want or what will garner approval from others. This can manifest in various ways, such as pursuing a career that looks good on paper but does not fulfill us, or acquiring material possessions to impress others rather than to satisfy our own desires. Tanya shares the story of a client who felt trapped in a high-paying job that brought her no joy, illustrating how the faux self can lead to a life that feels suffocating and unfulfilling.
Tonya explores the profound question, "Who are you really?" She shares her morning routine and the productivity that comes with starting the day early. She introduces a life-changing concept she learned from Martha Beck during her coach training: the distinction between the social self and the essential self. This episode delves into how understanding this concept can empower listeners to shift from feeling like victims of their circumstances to becoming creators of their own lives, our own true identities and explores the origins of their self-perceptions, prompting a deeper exploration of personal authenticity. Tune in for insights that could transform your understanding of yourself and your potential.
Talking Points:
00:52 -Social Self vs. Essential Self
04:06 - Defining the Worldly Woman
08:47 - The Role of the Faux Self in Success
10:20 - True Desires vs. Faux Desires
14:05 - True Desires and Money
18:04 - Childhood Memories and True Self
22:02 - True Self and the Win-Win Approach
25:03 - The Challenge of Sudden Change
27:00 - The Work of Getting Back to Your Authentic Self
Quotes:
"I felt like I was at the effect of my life versus being the creator of my life."
"There is no freedom when the faux self is in control."
"To find someone who is fully in their true self is such a rarity because it takes so much courage and a lot of people won't like you."
"You will know your truth because it will taste like freedom."
"Would you rather be judged for being real or praised for being fake?"
00:28:49 - "Who am I really at my core? Who am I beyond my roles as a mother, as a daughter, as a wife, as a business owner?"
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Who are you really? That is the question that we are exploring on today's episode. So let's dive right on in. |
| 0:11.2 | Welcome to the School of Self-image, where personal development meets style. Here's your hostess, |
| 0:17.5 | Master Life Coach, Tanya Lee. |
| 0:22.7 | Hello, my beautiful friends. |
| 0:23.5 | How are you doing? |
| 0:26.5 | I am sitting here, sipping my coffee. |
| 0:30.7 | I got up at 5 a.m. this morning, wide awake, ready to go. |
| 0:35.0 | It is now 8 o'clock, and I have gotten so much done. |
| 0:37.2 | Every once in a while I have these mornings. |
| 0:42.2 | And when I do, it's like I want to capture whatever's happening because I'm like, this is the way to start the day. |
| 0:44.8 | I feel like I've already completed a whole workday. |
| 0:47.3 | And now I get to hang out with you all on today's episode. |
| 0:50.9 | Today's going to be fun. |
| 0:52.5 | We're talking about a concept that truly changed my life. And I learned this |
| 0:59.7 | through Martha Beck when I went through her coach training all those years ago. What was it back |
| 1:06.0 | in 2008? She taught a concept called social self versus essential self. And if you want to read more |
| 1:14.8 | about it, go check out her book, Finding Your Own North Star. It's one of my favorite books, |
| 1:19.3 | because it was truly one of those gateway books that really opened me up to the power of our own |
| 1:26.1 | mind and how we have the ability to change the |
| 1:30.1 | trajectory of our lives and create completely new results for ourselves. I think up until the |
| 1:35.8 | point I met her, I felt like I was at the effect of my life versus being the creator of my life. |
| 1:44.0 | And so I want to start today's episode out with a question. |
... |
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