EP 404 The Root Cause of People Pleasing and How to Stop

The Purpose Show

Allie Casazza

Marriage, Self-improvement, Business, Goalsetting, Education, Intentionalliving, Homemaking, Entrepreneur, Purposefulliving, Mindfulliving, Motherhood, Minimalism, Femaleentrepreneur

4.6 • 4.5K Ratings

🗓️ 13 November 2024

⏱️ 32 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode of The Purpose Show, I’m tackling the topic of people-pleasing—especially for those of us with religious upbringings where we were taught to prioritize others, often to our detriment. I share my personal journey of moving past the compulsion to make everyone else happy and finding the freedom to be true to myself. I’ll walk you through practical tools for setting boundaries, building self-awareness, and stepping confidently into who you really are. If you’re ready to break free from people-pleasing and embrace your authentic self, let’s dive in!

My links here:https://alliecasazza.com/tpslinks

00:00Understanding People Pleasing

07:02Self-Betrayal and Identity Crisis

19:12Practical Tools for Overcoming People Pleasing

27:27Reclaiming Your Authentic Self

Takeaways

-People pleasing is a compulsion, not a choice.
-It can drain your energy and rob you of authenticity.
-Many women are conditioned to prioritize others over themselves.
-Awareness is the first step to breaking free from people pleasing.
-Setting boundaries is essential for self-care.
-Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) can help rewire limiting beliefs.
-Self-sacrifice to the point of losing yourself is damaging.
-You can still be generous while protecting your energy.
-Guilt is a normal reaction when changing people pleasing habits.
-Reclaiming your identity is a journey, not a race.

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi gorgeous. Welcome back to the Purpose Show podcast. We are diving today into something that is not just a habit or a personality quirk, which it is so often written off as, but it's something that can actually control your entire life if you let it and you don't get it in check. And that is people pleasing.
0:27.5	So if you have ever said yes with a smile and when inside you felt like you were like absolutely not, if you've done things just to keep the peace or to gain approval or one of
0:34.2	the bigger ones in the last couple years of my life that I noticed that I had to work through, unfortunately, is really feeling a deep-seated need to make men specifically comfortable and at the cost of my own comfort and my own safety and my own desires.
0:57.0	It's absolutely draining.
0:59.0	I know how like it's actually deeply exhausting.
1:02.9	Mentally, emotionally, spiritually, you lose yourself in the process of people pleasing.
1:08.7	And this way of being rules my life for years. I feel like I started
1:14.0	people pleasing when I was like a toddler and just kept doing it in different ways. And the form that it
1:22.6	took and the situations it happened and just kind of shifted as I got older and, you know, started doing
1:28.8	life in different seasons of life. But it shaped my relationships, my self-worth or lack of
1:35.7	self-worth, and my entire way of like being in the world. I think for a lot of us, we've been
1:42.6	taught that being good means sacrificing our needs
1:46.3	and putting everyone else first because that's the kind thing to do. And if that is you,
1:52.6	I wrote this episode for you and I'm really glad you're here. So stay. We're going to get through
1:57.8	this. And I'm going to get really real about what breaking free from people pleasing has looked
2:04.0	like for me.
2:04.7	It's an ongoing process for sure, actually even just this morning.
2:08.8	I had to send a text that I was like, I had like a stomach ache and it was the most basic
2:14.5	shit.
2:14.9	Like it wasn't a big deal at all.
2:16.4	It's just me speaking my truth and setting a precedent.
2:21.5	And it's very basic.
	...

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