On this week’s episode of the Peter Crouch Podcast, Pete, Chris, and Sids wrap up another chaotic Premier League season… but not before getting distracted by AI-generated football conspiracies, military dolphins, and Declan Rice answering a FaceTime call LIVE on the podcast the morning after his 5am title celebrations.

The lads dive into Arsenal finally getting over the line after 22 years of waiting, with an emotional live chat from Declan Rice fresh off the back of the celebrations, plus debate whether guards of honour have officially become the most awkward tradition in football.

There’s also discussion around Liverpool’s uncertain future, Mohamed Salah’s comments, Spurs surviving the drop, and the absolute madness surrounding Southampton’s playoff controversy.

Elsewhere, the pod spirals beautifully into conversations about fake AI football news, Jose Mourinho rumours, and whether anyone can actually trust the internet anymore. Plus, the Football League season finally comes to an end as Sids is crowned champion… and receives one of the most outrageous prizes the podcast has ever seen.

It’s the final Premier League episode of the season — and naturally, it completely loses the plot.

Chumbawamba

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00:00 - Pete opens for a brief remote segment after being called away urgently

01:24 - Crouchy’s ridiculous new BBQ setup

03:24 - Plans for a future podcast BBQ episode

04:00 - End of season reflections begin

04:26 - Guards of honour debate kicks off

05:12 - Bernardo Silva & John Stones discussion

06:01 - “Where does it end?” with football send-offs

06:58 - Nobody actually likes guards of honour

08:18 - Arsenal title win reactions

09:20 - Spurs surviving relegation and West Ham going down

10:41 - Bizarre celebrations get called out

11:20 - Odegaard dragging Arteta into the celebrations

11:53 - Ollie Watkins partying before scoring a brace at Man City

12:51 - End of season review officially starts

14:31 - Players mentally switching off after the season ends

15:33 - Why footballers are told to completely rest

16:15 - How Arsenal balance title celebrations with Champions League prep

17:30 - The Arsenal celebrations outside the Emirates

17:58 - Declan Rice joins live on FaceTime after winning the league

18:59 - Rice admits the pressure was huge this season: “it can’t happen again”

20:16 - Why Declan Rice “makes you love Arsenal”

20:55 - Arteta finally gets credit for Arsenal’s rebuild

21:56 - Liverpool’s uncertain future and Salah’s comments

24:07 - Has Salah’s relationship with Liverpool broken down?

25:08 - Southampton playoff controversy explained

26:13 - Would players feel robbed by the playoff punishment?

27:51 - Middlesbrough accidentally benefiting from the chaos

29:13 - AI football rumours start fooling everyone

29:53 - Crouchy gets completely tricked by fake Dua Lipa photos

31:05 - “Dua Lipa” joins the podcast

31:12 - “Game is gone” as AI takes over football discourse

31:52 - Mourinho, Xabi Alonso & fake football news

32:18 - Crouchy somehow ends up discussing military dolphins

34:38 - Spurs fan asks how to present Player of the Year award

35:34 - Why relegated clubs shouldn’t even hold awards nights

37:20 - Final Football League standings revealed

38:21 - Paddy Power’s brutal final message to Chris Stark

40:09 - Sids receives an outrageous custom championship ring

41:36 - The dramatic “ring ceremony” begins

43:26 - Final reflections on the football season

44:04 - Crouchy delivers emotional end-of-season speech

44:56 - “Please continue to kiss the ring”

For more Peter Crouch: 

Twitter - https://twitter.com/petercrouch 

Therapy Crouch - https://www.youtube.com/@thetherapycrouch 

For more Chris Stark 

Twitter - https://twitter.com/Chris_Stark

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/chrisstark/

For more Steve Sidwell 

Twitter - https://twitter.com/sjsidwell 

Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/stevesidwell14 

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