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Marriage Therapy Radio

Ep 384 "Intention" instead of "in tension" with Billy and Melissa Hokacker

Marriage Therapy Radio

Cloud10

Mental Health, Relationships, Society & Culture, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Education

4.8679 Ratings

🗓️ 5 August 2025

⏱️ 46 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Zach sits down with Billy and Melissa Hofacker, parents of five, homeschoolers, entrepreneurs, and deeply intentional partners. They share how their relationship evolved from survival mode to something they both now call a “ten.” Through structured connection points like weekly date nights and monthly marriage meetings, the Hofackers have built a resilient, emotionally intelligent partnership. Melissa opens up about postpartum struggles and therapy breakthroughs, while Billy shares how a health scare became a wake-up call for spiritual and emotional growth. From their faith journey to Jiu Jitsu metaphors, the Hofackers offer a practical and heartfelt look at what it takes to grow together over decades, not days. Key Takeaways “Ten” doesn’t mean perfect; it means committed: Even with five young kids and busy schedules, Billy and Melissa see their marriage as a ten because of the consistent work and shared mindset they bring to it. Systems build connection: Weekly date nights, monthly family and marriage meetings, and Sunday listening sessions help them stay aligned and emotionally available. Initiating connection is a skill: Melissa learned to lead with vulnerability instead of waiting for Billy to go first, transforming the emotional tone of their marriage. Transformation starts within: Billy’s health scare sparked personal growth that made him a more emotionally present husband and father. Faith goes deeper when life gets harder: Their spiritual path moved beyond habits and routines into intimate, soul-stretching territory, especially in moments of crisis. Jiu Jitsu shaped Billy’s identity: He credits the discipline, humility, and emotional control he learned on the mat with strengthening his role in the marriage. Guest Info Billy Hofacker Entrepreneur, host of the Your Fitness Money Coach podcast, and Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt, Billy helps service-based business owners grow profitably through yourfitnessmoneycoach.com. His blend of structure, discipline, and humor brings strength to both his work and his marriage. Melissa Hofacker Homeschooling mom of five and Billy’s partner in transformation, Melissa brings spiritual depth, emotional intelligence, and candid reflection. Raised in a pastor’s home, she’s forged a personal path of healing and connection grounded in faith and honesty. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

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Are you ready to let go of what isn't truly you and start living a more meaningful life?

0:34.3

I'm Dr. Tracy, clinical psychologist and couples therapist, and I'm here to help.

0:38.0

Each week on Dear Dr. Tracy, I bring you expert insights, real conversations, and practical tools to

0:43.1

help you break old patterns. Find joy in your relationships and show up fully for yourself and the

0:47.9

people you love. Join me for honest, insightful discussions on relationships, parenting, and

0:52.4

personal growth. Listen to Dear Dr. Tracy,

0:54.7

wherever you get your podcasts.

0:59.0

Hey, everybody, welcome. And thank you for listening to this episode of Marriage Therapy Radio.

1:02.2

My name is Zach Brittle. And, you know, I'm excited to share this episode with you today.

1:07.0

I think it's going to end up being a favorite episode for folks. I'm talking to Billy and Melissa Hofacker, who have just a really cool and intentional relationship. They have very

1:16.5

specific tips and tricks and tactics that they use to stay connected. I think people are going to

1:23.2

like this one. They talk about some of their rituals and perspectives, which I think are really helpful.

1:29.5

They suggest one of them early in the episode, and I actually had them do it for me after we

1:33.4

finished recording. We're going to put that behind the scenes at Patreon for our members there.

1:37.6

If you're not yet a member at Patreon, you can do that at Marriage Therapy Radio.com and click on the

1:42.6

Patreon button, or you can go to

1:44.4

patreon.com slash marriage therapy radio and we have lots of cool behind the scenes content,

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