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The situation in North Korea has grown even more dire than the last time it grew more

dire and maybe less dire than the next time it grows more dire when it will be even more

dire than now when it's already really dire.

News came over the weekend that fat, crazy North Korean fat, crazy man Kim Dumpfudge has

either set off a hydrogen bomb or a helium balloon he always gets those two confused. Depending

on which it was, Kim Too Fat is now in a position either to wipe out the entire west coast of

the United States or hold the children's birthday party if you can find a clown who's willing

to work for him after he had the last one tortured to death.

Winsomly attractive ambassador to the United Nations, Nikki Haley, reacted strongly to the

news in a speech to the Security Council, the Alluring Brunette said, quote,

Listen to me, you quivering tubs of useless lard. I'm so sick of looking at your flabby faces staring back at me with glazed, incomprehension every time this skull crushing lunatic blows something up.

If I don't get some action out of you, I'm going to take my shoe off and go around the room, hammering my high heel into your stupid foreheads one by one.

Unquote.

Move by the smoking hot ambassadors, vaguely arousing rhetoric, the Security Council immediately reacted by unanimously passing a resolution,

demanding more diplomatic parking spaces near their favorite Manhattan massage parlor, saying they couldn't concentrate on their happy endings for fear their limos were going to get towed.

Adorable ambassador Haley hailed the resolution as quote,

...