As I was dropping, this is, I'm going the wrong way.

And I was like, did I make a mistake?

It was too late because they're doing the operation, which is about eight hours.

And I'm unconscious and when I fell and landed, I just landed like, boom, I land into what I now know is hell.

But I don't even believe in hell. That's the crazy part.

As a Buddhist, I didn't believe in hell.

But here I am, and I look around, and it's crowded, guys. It's crowded. How does that? What does that mean? I'm not the only one there. There's so many people there. You can see them? Oh, yeah. So for me, hell was a very visual experience, a very physiological, spiritual

experience where the guilt, so like during the 10 days before I attempt to suicide, I had so much

anxiety and fear and confusion in hell, it was worse. The guilt and the condemnation, which is

eternal separation in hell because, you know, at least on earth, you got a break, right?

You can shoot morphine if you're tired, take Advil, go to sleep.

There's no rest in hell.

It was perpetual agony, perpetual fear, perpetual pain, perpetual condemnation, not one second of relief.

And it was so painful, I couldn't look at the person in front of me and go

Hey where you from are you from America China like India? I just looked around it and I didn't see any specific face. It was very just people everywhere

There was no light. There's no sunlight. I looked down. There's no plants. It was like a like a pebblish like just hard ground yeah like like a wasteland

like just a wasteland of no nothing alive yeah like a like a wasteland and it was like purplish

red atmosphere i look to the left there's a huge cliff again no plants no life no pets no animals

and i knew for the first time in my life that I was a sinner,

which I was never taught in Buddhism

because there's no concept of original sin like the Bible.

So I knew I was going to be there forever,

...