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Jordan, Jesse, GO!

Ep. 367: Strong Genre Preferences with Janet Varney

Jordan, Jesse, GO!

Jesse Thorn

Society & Culture, Comedy, Tv & Film

4.83.4K Ratings

🗓️ 9 March 2015

⏱️ 80 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Janet Varney joins Jordan and Jesse for a discussion of year-round gourds, Purim dancing, and whistle candy.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Give a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free.

0:05.2

Under the locks and throw away the keys and take coffee shoes and sex and run you.

0:10.5

It's Jordan, Jesse Goe. I'm Jesse Thorne, the voice of the millennial generation.

0:14.3

Jordan Morris, boy detective. Welcome to the program. Listeners.

0:19.3

Watchers. Smellers.

0:22.6

Whichever, whichever, whichever of the five senses you prefer.

0:27.0

Sight, smell, taste, hearing, masturbation. I'm a little bit jacked up today on Chewy Sweet Tarts.

0:34.2

Oh boy. Where'd you get those tarts? Goody bag. Stole them out of my children's goody bag.

0:39.3

Oh, what do the kids get a goody bag for? I'm going to a baby's birthday party.

0:43.2

Ah, nice. You know, what do they care about babies? You know what I mean? But

0:48.0

you know, you go to the birthday party, hang out, you eat a few Chewy Sweet Tarts.

0:51.8

Good time. Do you think they'll, they'll obviously the baby won't, won't know that they're gone.

0:56.4

We'll Simon know that, that his bag is light a couple tarts. No, man, I palm them. Oh.

1:02.6

So he didn't even know they were in there to begin with. You're like, let me check this,

1:05.8

make sure there's no poison in here. So I palm the tart. Yeah, I gave him some a little bit of sweet tart chew.

1:14.2

Mm-hmm. And I took the Chewy Sweet Tarts. There's a difference, Jordan.

1:18.8

I'd love to hear it. Broke it down very specifically.

1:22.2

One's like Laffy Taffy and it's gross. Mm-hmm. I gave that to my son.

1:25.6

Uh-huh. One who loves gross things. One is like a little Chewy pill,

1:32.4

like a little a pee of Chewy Sweet Tarts with just the faintest undercurrent of tasting like poison.

1:41.3

There's a little bit of bitterness to remind you that you're mortal.

1:44.7

You know what I think they should do is that those kids birthday parties,

...

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