EP. 353 | That Christmas Nativity Special: Donkeys, Darts & Angel Di Maria
That Peter Crouch Podcast
Tall or Nothing
4.4 • 2.5K Ratings
🗓️ 24 December 2025
⏱️ 14 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
On this week’s Christmas special of That Peter Crouch Podcast, Pete, Sids, and Chris fully embrace the festive spirit — with a twist only football could provide. Forget the traditional nativity, because the lads bring you a football-themed retelling of the Christmas story, featuring familiar faces like Mary Earps, Angel Di Maria, Dean Windass, Peter Schmeichel, and a baby Gabriel Jesus born not in Bethlehem… but firmly in football folklore.
With festive jumpers on, beers flowing, and absolutely no attempt to take things seriously, Crouchy leads the lads through a chaotic, laugh-out-loud Christmas tale that somehow manages to celebrate football heritage and the true meaning of Christmas all at once. There’s donkey impressions, questionable accents, proud dad moments, and just enough sentimentality to remind everyone what the season is all about.
To round things off, the Darts of Destiny makes its Christmas return, with league points, pressure throws, and big regrets on the line — all in support of a brilliant cause.
Merry Christmas from all of us at That Peter Crouch Podcast 🎄⚽
Chumbawamba
00:00 - Festive jumpers, beers & Christmas vibes
01:29 - Christmas Eve traditions & pub confessions
02:50 - “The true meaning of Christmas” football-style
03:32 - Introducing the football Nativity story
03:45 - The Nativity begins: Mary Earps & Joseph Cole
04:15 - Angel Di Maria delivers the big news
05:03 - King Ledley’s decree & the journey begins
05:42 - Dean Windass enters as the donkey
06:33 - No room at the inn… Manuel Neuer says no
07:10 - Peter Schmeichel offers the stable
07:56 - Gabriel Jesus is born in the Nicky Banger
08:35 - Shepherds receive the heavenly announcement
09:17 - The Three Kings arrive with gifts
09:47 - “What Christmas is all about”
10:26 - Proud dad energy & jumper appreciation
12:44 - Darts of Destiny returns
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This podcast is part of the A-Cast Creator Network. |
| 0:04.4 | Hello, welcome to that here at Crouch podcast. |
| 0:07.3 | You've here at Crouch? |
| 0:08.7 | Those who are saying, Chris Starker, are with me. |
| 0:11.4 | This is a Christmas Day occasion. |
| 0:13.4 | So we've popped open a couple of beverages. |
| 0:17.2 | Chris, you've got a great jumper. |
| 0:19.6 | Do you want to explain yours? |
| 0:20.5 | It's a Mick McCarthy jumper I saw her on the internet. |
| 0:23.1 | Love it. |
| 0:23.5 | It's perfect for this year. |
| 0:25.7 | Perfect, yeah. |
| 0:26.5 | This can't be Christmas, can it. |
| 0:28.3 | It can. |
| 0:28.7 | It can't. |
| 0:29.5 | I've got us up a little jumper as well. |
| 0:32.5 | I've got a beard option as well. |
| 0:35.1 | You're flashing as well, you should say, as well. |
| 0:37.2 | Yours is light up. |
| 0:37.9 | Be careful. |
| 0:38.6 | That could catch a light. Oh, I'm flashing. Yeah. You're a flashing one, yeah. But for me, the winner of the show, who stole the show for me, is Steve Sidwell. I feel like I've got the sort of straw here, lads. I feel like you might have done. you look great |
| 0:53.7 | could you explain |
... |
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