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Slack.com slash DHQ. It's summertime and you know what that means and neither do I. But

this is the season when leftists like to go outside to do fun summer stuff, like going

to the beach and rioting. But not so fast. It's dangerous out there in the real world,

especially if you're a leftist and don't know anything about the real world. So, let's

run through some left-wing safety tips to keep this summer injury free. When playing outdoors

in July and August, leftists should avoid going out on the sun. Because of the evil oil

companies who killed all those lovely blue people from Avatar and thus ruined our chances

to get free energy from a magic tree, the sun has ceased being the yellow circle with

a smiley face it used to be when you were a child. Ever since Donald Trump pulled out

of the Paris climate accord, the sun has become a seething ball of white hot plasma, setting

off something like a gazillion hydrogen bomb level explosions every second. So, you don't

want to be caught going out in that. Good Lord, you'd be killed over and over. Instead

this summer, leftists should go out at night when the sun disappears for some reason and

your solar powered houses won't be working anyway so you won't be able to watch all the

great fantasy shows on TV like Game of Thrones and CNN. But while you're on the beach soaking

up those healthful moon rays, you won't avoid going near anything that might look like sand

or water or the beach. You see global warming or global cooling or climate change or whatever

...