EP. 349 | Joe Cole: “We Knew We Were Becoming a Machine” — Chelsea Behind The Scenes & That England Heartbreak
That Peter Crouch Podcast
Tall or Nothing
4.4 • 2.5K Ratings
🗓️ 26 November 2025
⏱️ 82 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
On this week’s episode of That Peter Crouch Podcast, Pete, Chris and Sids sit down with Joe Cole, former England international, Premier League winner and Champions League finalist, to dive into the untold stories behind his new book Luxury Player.
The lads get stuck into Joe’s early rise as a teenage sensation, the madness of being splashed across the papers at 15, and how fame shaped him long before he stepped onto a Premier League pitch. Joe opens up about the pressure, the jealousy, the misconceptions, and how he found his way through it.
The conversation also takes us inside Chelsea during the Mourinho revolution — the moment Joe realised everything had changed, what training was really like under Jose, and how that era set the foundations for years of dominance. There’s plenty of England nostalgia too: World Cups, quarter-finals, dressing room pranks, and the gut-punch reality of injuries cutting short international dreams.
It’s honest, funny, nostalgic and full of elite-level insight — a proper football chat with one of the game’s most naturally gifted players. And yes, there’s tales wine-tasting chaos, mascot scandals, and insight into a black cab driver giving massages at Chelsea… Strap in.
Chumbawamba
00:00 — Crouchy opens the pod
01:15 — Crouchy, Carragher & Roy Keane at Football For Change
03:45 — Roy Keane art gallery story
05:00 — Richarlison goal & prediction chaos
09:50 — Hole-in-one vs 147 debate
15:30 — Arsenal vs Chelsea predictions
20:50 — FA Cup memories & Haier ad read
22:40 — Introducing Joe Cole
23:30 — Nick Collins falling-off-ladder clip
25:55 — Joe’s Sunday Brunch wine-tasting disaster
32:10 — Reconstructing memories for the book
33:50 — Being on the front page at 15
35:15 — Teacher mocking Joe about money
36:10 — Being a target at away grounds
43:00 — Joe’s dad turning down Sir Alex’s mascot invite
45:30 — West Ham principles & giving tickets away
53:00 — Discussion about “Luxury Player” label
01:03:50 — Desailly & the World Cup at Chelsea
01:04:20 — Mourinho arrives & changes everything
01:21:00 — England heartbreak & final reflections
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This podcast is part of the A-Class Creator Network. |
| 0:22.6 | Hello, and welcome to that Peter Crouch podcast. Me, Peter Crouch. Notorious, Sidney and Chris Stark with me. Is everyone okay? Feeling good. Yeah, really, really good. I feel a bit star-strut seeing you today, Siddy. I was watching you on Saturday. I was having a few beers and it was on. And I like it. You know when you see Sky Sports do that thing and you know everyone's watching all over the UK and I was watching because wasn't at the Watford game and anyway I thought I'll just keep up with the scores that way. Watford come back against Derby, two nil down gets a three two. Anddy will be there fucking, like, screaming. You know, when you start hearing the presenters going like, whoa, in the background, nothing, not a blip. Sorry. No, it wasn't our game. Oh, right. Yeah, no, yeah. Obviously, it comes up on the big video printer. But when you're engrossed in your game. Of course, yeah, yeah. And then I had Dawes next to me. He was doing the Liverpool game, which was a great game as well. And then Clinton was next to me doing Palace Wolves. So we were just all up in our games. Yeah. Sorry, mate. I'll make a B-Line next time if they... I did hear you mention the fourth official at one point, no. Yeah. |
| 1:11.5 | I always try to... I think every time I'm on TV now, just try and drop something from the podcast. Yeah, well, play. Yeah, you're doing really well with that, actually. Passing the pod. Yeah. Doing well. What you've been up to, Chris, nice weekend? Yeah, pretty chilled, actually. yeah, nothing too major to report. |
| 1:27.2 | You've been... |
| 1:28.0 | You've been busy, though. |
| 1:28.9 | I keep seeing you popping up all sorts of places. |
| 1:30.7 | Yeah, there's bits chilled actually. Yeah, nothing too major to report. You've been... You've been busy, though. I keep seeing you popping up all sorts of places. Yeah, I actually went up to Manchester on the weekend. And I helped... Well, it's football for change. Really good cause. You know, for underprivileged kids or, you know, communities that maybe haven't got the right infrastructure around them but they all benefit from from the charity social for a good cause and then sat on a table with with jami carriga and and our friend roy keen so i was next to roy so good did you mention the 16th chapel didn't get mentioned i i didn't, I was just hoping he wouldn't bring it up and then I just didn't bring it up. But I did mention the car story when I gave me the look at the lights that I've mentioned on the pod before. I did mention that to him. How did that go down? Yeah, he went down, all right. It went down fine. He said, I really do that and I was like I said yeah you did yeah I said he thought you'd made that up he was a |
| 2:21.1 | he was uh he wasn't he couldn't remember it I think I mean it was just something so small in his day yeah that affected me in a big way it wouldn't affect him in any way he just looked to me and thought what a shit and then just got on with his day. |
| 2:37.5 | I reckon does that with just anyone as well next to him. |
| 2:38.9 | He would just look there and just go, |
| 2:41.4 | but I have to say, you know, |
| 2:43.8 | it's got an aura about him, Joaquin, right? |
| 2:44.2 | Hasn't he? |
| 2:45.4 | Like a real aura about him. |
| 2:50.1 | So I was a bit apprehensive, I would say. |
| 2:55.8 | A bit nervy about it all, because I haven't really chatted to him at all. |
| 2:58.3 | I played against him, but I don't know him. |
| 3:00.4 | What a great company. |
| 3:02.0 | Enjoyed every moment. |
| 3:03.6 | So you got on and everything. |
| 3:05.2 | Got on great after that, yeah. |
| 3:07.5 | Because what are his views? |
... |
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