Ep. 34—The Goblet of Fail

The Quibbler: A Harry Potter Book Club

Heather Price-Wright & Alex Dalenberg

Arts

4.8 • 783 Ratings

🗓️ 3 August 2017

⏱️ 62 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Well, turns out things actually CAN get more insane in this book. This week, a cup had one job and utterly failed to do it; Mad Eye/Barty Jr. played the part of Dr. Evil magnificently; Ron did not handle disappointment well; Karkarov made a decent point; Snape made his most vile remark thus far (high bar); Hermione did everyone's emotional labor for them; and the squid got breakfast. Plus: Does your, erm, "wand" measure up? This week's chapters: The Four Champions & The Weighing of the Wands Next week's chapters: The Hungarian Horntail & The First Task

Transcript

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0:00.0	Badges? We don't need no stinking badges. Potter stinks badges, on the other hand.
0:06.9	You're listening to the Quibbler podcast, the Harry Potter Book Club for Propagandists.
0:13.0	Now, why did you decide to enter the tournament, Harry?
0:18.4	I didn't, said Harry. I don't know how my name got into the goblet of fire. I didn't, said Harry.
0:23.5	I don't know how my name got into the goblet of fire.
0:24.9	I didn't put it there.
0:26.4	Come now, Harry.
0:28.7	There's no need to be scared of getting into trouble.
0:32.5	We all know you shouldn't really have entered at all,
0:34.1	but don't worry about it.
0:35.9	Our readers love a rebel.
0:41.0	How do you feel about the tasks ahead? Excited? Nervous?
0:50.4	I'm Heather Pricewright. And I'm Alex Dellenberg. Hey. Hey, I'm feeling pretty hyped for this episode.
0:55.9	Yeah, guys, this one's a doozy. These chapters are bonkers. Yeah, J.K. Rowland is wild and out.
1:02.6	The chapters in question are the four champions and the weighing of the wands. We are, of course,
1:08.1	still reading Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fail, more like.
1:09.3	Lall.
1:12.7	Harry Potter and the shitty goblet that's bad at his job.
1:16.7	We're going to talk even more about how shitty the goblet is.
1:22.8	As you can tell, this podcast will contain cursing and multiple spoilers.
1:25.7	It will also contain some adult themes. This week's adult themes are diplomatic crises, backlash culture, attack ads, fake news, and long, hard wands.
1:39.1	Alex, do you have anything to say for yourself?
	...

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