Ep. 336 - Why you still want your ex (even when you know they're not right for you)
How to Get Over Your Ex
Dorothy AB Johnson
4.7 • 577 Ratings
🗓️ 13 April 2026
⏱️ 15 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
If you're stuck in the loop of "I know they're not right for me… but I still want them back" or wondering if fixing yourself will somehow make your ex return, this episode will meet you exactly where you are. Instead of forcing yourself to "move on" before you're ready, we break down what's actually driving that pull toward your ex—and why trying to think your way out of it hasn't worked. I'll walk you through the shift that changes everything, so you can finally get out of the mental tug-of-war and start showing up differently. Not from desperation, but from a place where you're building a life that feels better than the one you had with them. If you secretly don't want to move on yet—or you're tired of feeling like you're the problem—this episode will show you a smarter way forward that puts you back in control of what happens next.
The Get Over Your Ex in 3 months or less program (opening June 1st!): https://dorothyabjohnson.com/getoveryourex/
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You are listening to How to Get Over Your Ex, episode number 336, why you still want your ex even when you know they're not right for you. |
| 0:26.7 | Welcome to How to Get Over Your Ex, a podcast on getting over your ex without it just taking time. |
| 0:29.0 | I'm your host, breakup coach Dorothy. |
| 0:32.4 | Let's turn your pain into power and your heartbreak into happy. Hello, hello, beautiful brave hearts. |
| 0:40.2 | How is everyone doing? |
| 0:41.7 | I am so excited to be here with you today. |
| 0:44.0 | This is actually the week leading up to my in-person retreat |
| 0:47.6 | with my bigger and better life mastermind ladies. |
| 0:52.3 | I'm so excited. |
| 1:00.2 | It's going to be epic. But today, I wanted to talk to you guys about a couple of things that have been coming up in coaching. Let's start with when you logically |
| 1:07.0 | know your ex isn't good for you, but you still want him. And when you honestly don't want to |
| 1:13.0 | move on, you just want him back. Um, because oftentimes I see these two topics really combined. |
| 1:20.0 | Now, I want to call out right away that there is no shame and wanting your ex back. Some of you, |
| 1:27.4 | like, do know for certain that you don't want your |
| 1:30.2 | ex back and that is amazing and I'm so happy for you and consider that a gift. And then for others, |
| 1:35.5 | I feel like you either secretly or not so secretly just want your ex back and I want you to |
| 1:42.0 | know that I am a safe space. this is a safe space for you to |
| 1:45.4 | learn how to get over your ex without giving up on getting back together and I think that that |
| 1:50.2 | is something that is far and few between I will I do honor that I talk about it um yeah I could go on |
| 1:58.1 | and on but these two things can happen together, getting over someone |
| 2:02.6 | while simultaneously still wanting them back. And I know it seems contradictory. But ironically, |
| 2:08.2 | the work is the same. It's so weird. You must get over your ex before you get him back. |
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