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Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Ep 331- Stolen Valor

Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast

Matt McCusker & Shane Gillis

Society & Culture, Comedy, Comedy Interviews

4.89.7K Ratings

🗓️ 14 January 2021

⏱️ 83 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Shane caught the bug and the vitamin D blasted it right out of him. We zoom out of respect for the fallen capitol, pausing our in-person enterprise to remember those of our brave senators and other adult class presidents who became unnerved as the uncles stormed their CSPANN building.

Support the D.A.W.G.Z. @ patreon.com/MSsecretpod

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Oh man, we're on, dude. We're on. We have to zoom the Chinese have won, dude. They finally

0:08.4

get the virus they sent to America to get me all those years back. They finally got

0:13.5

me finally got you, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry, everybody that we didn't do an episode

0:18.4

last week. I happen to have COVID-19. You ever heard of it? Ever fucking heard of it

0:23.8

that I happen to have the novel coronavirus 19. And you so you basically, and I don't

0:29.2

want to, you know, Shane won't brag about it. But I like he was on a ventilator all

0:33.2

last week. And I was like, Shane, the people are asking, he just fucking pulled the tube.

0:38.1

It was a crazy thing I've ever seen. Pulled the tube out of his throat and was like, let's

0:41.4

fucking roll. But we need to do podcasts. The doctor, literally, I mean, last week I

0:48.2

didn't want to brag about this. But it was me getting him out of the hospital. He was like,

0:51.3

I use pulling the wires just like the movies. He was like, I get out of here. Yeah.

0:57.7

No, hey, guys, don't joke around about the COVID-19 virus because it's bad. But I'll tell

1:04.4

you what, I didn't have a symptom. Baby, I did lose my sense of smell. So really, and

1:13.0

a lot of you are out there like, what can I do? The health wise. And here's what you got

1:17.7

to do. A lot of people don't tell you to do this. Do that. What you do is you don't stay

1:23.6

in shape at all for 30 years, eat whatever you want, whenever you want, hang out. And

1:30.5

then your immune system is just too powerful. I heard that. You know, I mean, so like if

1:35.2

people like worry about obesity and, you know, all these different things that make the

1:40.7

virus more deadly, I don't know where they're getting that. You know what I mean?

1:47.2

You're saying you ran a good simulation. Although, dude, there's everything I did. I took

1:50.5

care of myself. I took care of my body. That's a temple. And I ran through this thing.

1:53.7

No problem. Also, too, I looked it up. And I think the one fact I got was that something

...

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