Ep. 324 - What your ex hated about you might be the reason your next relationship works
How to Get Over Your Ex
Dorothy AB Johnson
4.7 • 577 Ratings
🗓️ 19 January 2026
⏱️ 14 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
If you're spiraling about dating after your breakup, convinced there's no one out there for you, replaying every fight you had, and quietly wondering if the things your ex disliked about you mean you're asking for too much, this episode is for you. We're unpacking why the exact issue you used to argue about in your last relationship might not be a flaw at all, but a signal of misalignment, and why that same trait could become the foundation of real connection in your next relationship. You'll learn how incompatibility gets mistaken for unworthiness, why your brain keeps turning past arguments into evidence against your future, and how to stop shrinking yourself to feel chosen. This episode will help you see your desires clearly again. Not as liabilities, but as clues and restore hope that the right relationship won't require you to change who you are, only to be more of it.
Check out our free breakup clinic (go beyond your breakup to build your bigger and better life): https://dorothyabjohnson.com/breakupclinic/
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You are listening to You How to Get Over Your Ex episode number 324. |
| 0:05.2 | What your ex hated about you might be the reason your next relationship works. |
| 0:20.8 | Welcome to How to Get Over Your Ex, a podcast on getting over your ex without it just taking time. |
| 0:27.1 | I'm your host, breakup coach Dorothy. |
| 0:29.3 | Let's turn your pain into power and your heartbreak into happy. |
| 0:39.5 | Hello, hello, beautiful brave hearts. How are you doing today? |
| 0:41.6 | We are talking about something that I think is going to blow your mind and give you so much |
| 0:46.6 | hope for what's possible after your breakup because it honestly blew my mind. |
| 0:51.4 | I want you to start today's episode out with just taking a moment to think about |
| 0:57.6 | the thing that used to start fights with your ex. The thing maybe that you'd argue about, |
| 1:05.3 | like over and over. The thing that made you feel like you were not enough or too much. Okay, the thing that |
| 1:14.2 | made you wonder if maybe you needed to change who you were fundamentally. Okay. Think about that |
| 1:22.6 | for a second. Awesome. I hope you have it. Hold on to that because what I'm about to talk to you about blew |
| 1:29.7 | my mind recently thinking about. So that exact thing that you have in your mind is probably |
| 1:39.7 | what you're going to bond over with the person who's actually meant for you. What? So wild. |
| 1:49.0 | Here's why. Okay. So when I was intentionally choosing my husband and yes, I was very much |
| 1:57.5 | intentionally like thinking about what I wanted to pick and a husband. I was super |
| 2:03.4 | intentional about it. I had a list of things that really mattered to me and things that I had like |
| 2:09.6 | ultimately learned from all about in my past relationships, especially the rock bottom relationship |
| 2:16.5 | that all of you know about. And one of the biggest |
| 2:19.4 | things on that list happened to be the beach. This guy was going to have to like love the beach, |
| 2:26.9 | truthfully. Because the beach was always a point of contention with almost all of my exes, every |
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