I think it's actually important to when you give that to your children, say, and I am going to be checking what you do with this phone.

What's up, guys? Welcome back to Five Minute Fatherhood. So, Jeff, I want to talk to you about this really interesting conversation that I saw online. And it started with somebody writing, if you're a parent and you go through your teenager's phone, you're a bad parent. And I was like, ooh, wow,

this is going to be a good conversation. So I jumped in and, you know, it's an interesting

dilemma that we have in this day and age, Because there is something to what this person's saying,

right? It's like if you give your kids a phone and your kids start to do lots of things with a

phone that maybe you would not, you would not approve of. And suddenly you, because there's lots of

ways you can kind of grab the phone, spy on your kids. And so there was a conversation that was going on in this forum where, you know, most people, of course, were agreeing with what this person is saying, yeah, privacy, don't invade your kids' privacy. Then, of course, some people were like, wait, they're your kids. You know, you need to know what's going on with them. And what I was kind of engaging in, and I'm

curious what your thoughts are, is I just think when you give your kids a technology where they

could be private, it's computer or phone, I think it's actually important to when you give that

to your children, say, and I am going to be checking what you do with this phone. Nothing you do

with this phone is private.

Like it's sort of like the terms and service that you might sign when you, you know, you go to a website.

Hey, this information is not private. It is going to be shared. I am going to be checking in.

And so be aware of that. And then regularly doing that, like checking on, checking the history, like making sure that your kids know that this is, there are things I'm going to be doing to make sure that.

Now, if you can give it, give some privacy your kids, but man, if you're not going to do that, then let them know up front.

And that's kind of how we've done it.

But yeah, Jeff, any thoughts about how to deal with technology, privacy, and kids? Because this is going to be a big topic. Totally. Totally. I mean, I think, yeah, you said it all. I think one of the, it's for the main thing is expectations, right? Like just expectations. I know, I know another family who's solid and, you know, and their kids are older and teenagers. And like, yeah, every kid gets a

contract. Like, here's the, here's the terms of this agreement. Here's what I expect from you. If any of these are violated, here's the probation. Here's the longer one. And here's the kind of final straw. You know, and it just says it. Like there's no. And what's great too is I feel like you even see that in business. You see that in marriage. Like if expectations are set, it actually tends to create less conflict and fighting because it's just like everyone just is more of a just submitting to the external reality of the rules. It's not like, I'm not mad against you. I'm just like, this is what we all signed up for, you know? And so I think that is big. So yeah, I think, but I think I'll say two more things. I think the one is, yes, there's the seed of the idea that's here is on the one side. Well, there's two sides here that I'm, I'm wrestling with or that I think just both have to be true. The first one is another way I would put it is your kid doesn't have a phone. Like your kid, you have a phone that you probably bought, right? That you own, that you pay for, that they are renting, right? Right. And just like a house, like that's my house. I'm the one that comes in and says,

if I want to change the fridge or change the oven. I'm the one that says you're getting evicted, right? Like, it's just like all, like, it's not your house. You're renting. And I make all the rules and I own this asset. But I want it to serve you right now. And that's why you have it. And so I think that's a philosophy that should be true.

And then last, But I want it to serve you right now, and that's why you have it. And so I think that's a philosophy that should be true.

And then lastly, on the other side of the conversation, I do think the seed of the truth that's here is that the worst possible thing a parent can usually do is, you know, treat a 17-year-old like a seven-year-old. And that includes

emotionally, you know, with friends, socially, their dreams, their hopes. And privacy, not in the

...