4.9 • 10.6K Ratings
🗓️ 17 March 2020
⏱️ 87 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Unsurprisingly, the negotiations with the Purple Robes do not go as planned.
This episode contains profanity, violence, sexual content, animal cruelty/animal death, and violence towards children.
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Project DADGUT is the group transcription project
DM is Anthony Burch
Darryl Wilson is Matt Arnold (@mattlarnold)
Henry Oak is Will Campos (@willbcampos)
Ron Stampler is Beth May (@heybethmay)
Glenn Close is Freddie Wong (@fwong)
Theme song by Maxton Waller
Cover art by Alex Moore (@notanotheralex)
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0:00.0 | Dungeons and Daddies is a rowdy, horny, violent podcast for grown-ups. |
0:04.0 | Content warnings can be found in the description. |
0:10.0 | Hello, and welcome to the history of Barovia. |
0:14.0 | In the year 773, dad's Darryl Wilson, Ron Stampler, Head Ryok, and Glenn Close |
0:22.0 | marched their army to the thin land bridge leading to Castle Ravenlop, |
0:26.0 | ready to lay siege to the purple-robot inhabitants. |
0:29.0 | This army, really more of a band of mercenaries about half the size of a Roman cohort, |
0:35.0 | consisted of equal parts archers, shield bearers, and pikemen, |
0:39.0 | a range-in configuration known as the Death Turtle, which was created by General Colonel Glenn Close. |
0:45.0 | Requesting an audience, the purple robes and four dads met in the center of the windswept bridge on neutral ground. |
0:52.0 | It was there that the purple robes revealed that they were, in fact, |
0:56.0 | Willie Stampler, Barry Oak, and Bill Close, the fathers of Ron, Henry, and Glenn respectively. |
1:04.0 | Notably, Darryl's father was missing from this lineup. |
1:08.0 | These purple robes offered the dads a deal. |
1:11.0 | Give us your kids so we can become Omega daddies and we'll let you go home. |
1:16.0 | But getting the purple robes out of the castle and onto the land bridge was all part of the dad's scheme. |
1:23.0 | You see, a stealth operation utilizing a DJI Phantom drone piloted by a low-ranking intern known only as Doug, |
1:32.0 | signaled the children to use a previously hidden magical item in order to teleport to the dad's metal transport, |
1:39.0 | a vehicle known as a minivan. |
1:42.0 | The dads now had the children they had come so far to rescue in their hands, |
1:47.0 | but were face to face and on the edge of an all-out war with the toughest enemies they had yet encountered. |
1:54.0 | This week, we will continue where we left off. |
... |
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