EP 26: The Gift and Curse of Shame
THIS TOO SHALL PASS
Idea to Launch Productions
4.6 • 621 Ratings
🗓️ 10 December 2024
⏱️ 42 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Tying a tie for my son's homecoming was more than knots and loops—it was a moment of reflection on shame and societal expectations. This simple task became a mirror, revealing the pressures and feelings of inadequacy we all face. In this episode, I share how shame, while often a moral guide, can also become a barrier if left unchecked. Raised in the church as a Florida girl, I explore how faith and life experiences taught me to embrace uncomfortable truths and use shame as a tool for growth and authenticity.
From navigating school struggles to meeting familial expectations, we delve into the deep-rooted societal pressures faced by daughters, particularly Black women. I recount five pivotal moments of vulnerability, illustrating how feelings of inadequacy shaped my identity and led to cycles of shame and disruptive behaviors. These stories reveal how reading struggles and the weight of parental expectations influenced my sense of self and the coping mechanisms I developed.
We also examine the emotional toll of absent fathers and the challenges of single motherhood. Through personal anecdotes and reflection, I discuss the guilt and struggles mothers face in filling the gaps left by non-participating fathers, and how this affects children's identities. My story of teen pregnancy and isolation is shared to inspire strength in vulnerability. This episode is a call to build community support, embrace unique narratives, and find healing through openness and understanding.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This week, on This Two Shall Pass, Andre went to homecoming, and I did not know how to tie a tie. |
| 0:11.0 | I YouTube did it, I watched it over and over and over, and I was like screaming. |
| 0:16.0 | If it was a tampon, I got you. A tie, I don't wear them. I didn't know you had to make the tie. |
| 0:21.9 | I don't make my earrings. |
| 0:23.3 | I just click it on. |
| 0:24.4 | I thought you clicked it on like an accessory. |
| 0:26.8 | Help me out. |
| 0:27.7 | Please. |
| 0:28.6 | I ended up running across the street to my neighbor with tears in my eyes. |
| 0:32.2 | I like flagged him down like airport security. |
| 0:34.8 | I leaned my blackhead in his car and was like, can anyone in here |
| 0:39.5 | tie a tie? I was grateful to be in that situation that someone could help, but on the same side, |
| 0:45.2 | I was like, when's the last time my son heard from a male that you look good, you look nice, |
| 0:51.1 | I like how you put that together. He only hears it for me. |
| 0:54.6 | Hey, Tribe, welcome to the This Two Shall Pass podcast. I'm your host, Ariel B. But who is |
| 1:01.7 | Ariel B? I've had trouble separating who I am from what I do. Am I just a kid that was adopted? |
| 1:09.7 | Am I an ex-wife surviving from domestic violence? Or |
| 1:13.0 | am I a single mother of five trying to just keep it all together? This is an exclusive space |
| 1:18.8 | for our stories and lessons to be heard and learned from without judgment because this |
| 1:25.3 | two shall pass. Today's topic is shame. When I said that word to you, |
| 1:32.9 | what did you feel? Did you relate it back to yourself or maybe pass it backwards into the |
| 1:38.1 | audience and shifted towards somebody else who gives you shame? If I had to add a definition to the |
... |
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