New Year, new me. Nah. I'm fine just the way I am. Doing the things I love. Like enjoying

a latte on the bus with some music or on a walk with a friend. My only resolution is

to enjoy more of what I love. Like switching up my usual with oat, soy, almond or coconut.

All delicious non-dairy alternatives available at Starbucks. For no extra charge. While stocks

last subject to availability. The holidays by which I mean Christmas and all those other

fake ones are just around the corner and that means it's time for the Andrew Clayton

shows official gift guide for Democrats. That's right. There are probably some Democrats in your

family or among your former friends or just people you've met during your charitable prison visits

and you're thinking to yourself in this season of giving and charity. How can I cheer up the

humiliated suckers in my life after a bruising election in which they lost so hilariously that it's

difficult not to mock their agony even as they sit in a puddle of their own tears. So allow us to

make some gift suggestions that will make this Christmas a joy. Even for those people who came

this close to victory only to have the rug pulled out from under them so suddenly at the last minute.

It was as if God himself were punishing them for their arrogant attempt to morally and politically

pervert their own country punishing them and then laughing at them and then punishing them more and

laughing more. For your Uncle Bob or Aunt Nell or Uncle Nell since these are Democrats and who

the hell knows you might try Apple's magic mirror app. This download for your Mac or iPad works

through your camera to give Uncle Bob a picture of himself which then through the miracle of

technology is suddenly hitting the kisser with her tremendous pie while an electric voice says the

word loser over and over again. For an extra dollar 99 the Apple then shove a giant crow in your

uncle's mouth and make him eat it. For $2.99 I'll do it myself. Your good Democrat friend Mike might

like a desk calendar with a different quote from Hillary Clinton on every page so he can keep his

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