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Well, it's Christmas time, and you know what that means? Or you're a leftist and you don't.

You see, this is the festive time of the year when leftists hear the sound of children laughing, carolers singing,

and worshippers saying their prayers, and send their lawyers to hunt them down and silence them forever.

That's because leftists believe that religion is insulting and moralistic and should be destroyed because it's stupid and bad.

Leftists believe that it's exclusive to belong to an inclusive religion like Christianity because it excludes exclusive religions like Islam,

and thus the inclusive religion is exclusive for excluding the exclusive which is inclusive because it murders everyone.

Leftists don't believe in Santa Claus because that's childish.

Instead, they believe in an all-powerful and magnificent figure who can be everywhere at once giving free gifts to those who deserve them,

and they're really sorry his presidency is coming to an end.

Leftists believe that conservative religious people should be forced to fund abortions and participate in gay weddings,

because when the founding fathers wrote in the First Amendment that Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,

they were really trying to say that Congress should make those laws, but they got it all confused because they were speaking in old English,

and all the S's looked like F's, plus they had nothing to write with, but feathers, so the words got smeared.

But the point the founders were trying to make was their man should be able to have sex with another man and then kill the baby if the second man becomes pregnant because he identifies as a woman.

And isn't that what Christmas is really all about?

Leftists believe that when you construct a tableau in a public place that shows a baby in a manger surrounded by wise men,

...