It's not simply just one person dominating the values conversation or that you're not having it.

What's up, guys? Welcome to another five-minute fatherhood. So what do you do when you and your wife

have different values? And by that, I don't mean necessarily like she doesn't totally doesn't

like one of your values and you totally don't like one of hers, that they're just different values oftentimes are just they're they're not necessarily

a moral it's not clear like which ones should be the highest um oftentimes there's just a lot of

things you can value and sometimes your wife value some things more than you do or vice versa

and i really love the way that Phil

and Diane Comer talked about this in their book Raising Passionate Jesus Followers. The example they

used is that Diane is high, high value for her as cleanliness in the house. And for Phil,

a high high value for him is fun. And neither of them really share the other's value

super high. And so they had to figure out as a couple like, well, what is going to be our

family culture around fun and cleanliness? If one of these values is shared more by one of us

than the other person. And I think that is an incredibly powerful conversation.

And there's different ways this tends to play out, you guys. In some families, you know, one spouse

dominates. And so their top values are just flat out the top values of the family and the other

spouse just loses all the time in terms of any distinctive values that they're bringing

to the table. And then of course there's other families where the family culture is just

incredibly weak in every individual values their own thing and there's not much cohesion in the family

and that's probably pretty common in modern families. But what I think is so much more dynamic

is if you could think about those distinct values and if there are values

that you aren't super excited about personally but are really important to your wife then I think

you need to say to her and to the family we want mom's value for this thing to be one of our family values. We want

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