Kill a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free.

Under the locks and throw away the keys and take coffee shoes and sex and run you.

I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart, and I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective.

And this is Jordan, Jesse, GO!

This week's Jordan, Jesse, GO was recorded live at Max Funconn. This past weekend in Lake Arrowhead, California. Let's go!

For the at-home listeners, when it went to black, it was pitch black. No one saw our entrance. Certainly there aren't many doors open to the daylight for ventilation.

Basically people think we're teleporters. Welcome to Jordan, Jesse, GO! Oh man, this is fun. This is exciting.

We have prepared for this show for dozens of minutes. If you combine our efforts.

Well, in the time it took for us to prepare for this episode, we could have watched an episode of Bob's Burgers.

But we didn't, because we call about you guys, because we care about 24 minutes with our commercials.

Oh, you know, actually, God, I am so sorry, Jesse. Before we officially get started, sorry, kind of, I hate to do this because we've got it in that flow.

But there's just a couple of announcements they want us to make.

Yeah, just the UCLA conference center just wants us to make a couple of announcements, just stuff to be mindful of, and then we'll continue with the show.

For you to know, if you're here, if you're at home, you can just space out for a couple of minutes. This does not apply to you.

You'll probably cut this out of the original version. If you see raccoons going through the garbage, do not interfere.

Raccoons here are very internet savvy, and they can and will ruin your online reputation.

There are some college students here from UCLA. Avoid eye contact with them at all costs.

Remember, they may try and convince you that Donnie Darko is a good movie. It is not.

It's not. If this happens, just play dead.

If you fuck too hard in the canoes, they will capsize.

If you need to act out sexually in the canoes, try and keep it limited to handies and finger fumbles.

Well, some of the wild blackberries are tainted, and by the way, I rub them on my taint.

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