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Help Me Be Me

Ep 218: Humanely Navigating Long-term Relationships

Help Me Be Me

Cloud10

Health & Fitness

4.81.9K Ratings

🗓️ 28 February 2024

⏱️ 51 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

There are many phases to a long-term partnership – many moons. When it comes to long-term partnerships, we are traveling through a human existence which includes dealing with that pain of our own identity. That pain then interacts and affects our partner, which can define the kinds of conflicts we perceive are happening. This is about how to humanely deal with the pain of miscommunication and unmet needs in long-term, intimate relationships. Many relationship issues don’t have “correct” solutions. They result from being different people with different needs and different styles of communication. The goal then becomes to act humanely as we deal with that fact – including toward ourselves. This episode is about having that goal of doing no harm and also being able to step back from our own programming. Whereas when we are choosing a partner we must be incredibly stringent in our standards, once we have chosen one, we can become accountable enough to challenge ourselves. We can practice acceptance of who the other person is and also look at how we choose to change. This is for about working with our own ego wounds as they occur, and also stepping back from old chain reactions. It’s a reminder that marriage can be hard and often the best we can do is come from love and respect, for ourselves and others. Support this week’s sponsors! GreenLight So stop putting off the “Money Talk” and start putting your kids on the right path. Sign up for Greenlight today and get your first month free at Greenlight.com/HelpMeBeMe ZocDoc Get started on the mental health work you want to do! Go to ZocDoc.com/HelpMeBeMe and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated therapist, psychiatrist, or psychologist today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome to Help Me Be Me. I'm your host, Sarah May Bates. I'm a writer, director, mom, and a breakup coach with an

0:08.0

MAMFT. And this podcast is kind of like a personal relationship. In that I talk to you like you're my friend.

0:14.0

I provide tools to help you feel more grounded, empowered, inspired, and most of all help you see yourself.

0:20.0

This is aimed at creating more harmony and happiness in the relationship you have with you,

0:25.3

so you can better guide your life and also be better to those you love. Take what helps and leave the rest.

0:32.3

This is not a diagnosis for treatment.

0:34.4

If you're really struggling, call your local emergency services.

0:38.0

Hi everybody it's it's Sarah and here is an episode I'm calling do no harm

0:51.4

ethical living in and marriage.

0:53.8

And it's really for any kind of relationship

0:55.7

that's long term, a committed relationship.

0:58.0

I'm not like saying that's the right way to be at all.

1:00.9

This is just the topic that it happens to be about, but it's really for how to

1:05.4

humanely deal with the issues and the pain and the negotiation of self and needs and priorities and what other people's

1:15.2

priorities are throughout an intimate relationship that happens to

1:19.2

occur over a very long period of time. So don't feel like weird if this is not where you are. I'm not saying

1:27.1

you should be here. Just this is what I'm talking about today. And I think when you're in a long-term relationship, a partnership, many issues that come up really don't have solutions. And that is because they result from being very different people with different needs, different styles of communication,

1:45.0

different upbringings, different love maps, different projections.

1:50.0

And so the goal is really to become humane and how we deal with that fact,

1:55.0

including in how the other person feels in receiving that.

2:01.0

So like, it's always an exchange, it's always this kind of loop.

2:05.0

And so the way we relate to the other person as they receive us is also where a lot of pain and issues can come up.

...

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