They're, they're intuition. I mean, even me being ready, it like stung. I was like, oh,

yeah. I almost gave it back.

What's up guys? Jeff and Jeremy here. Welcome to the episode of five minute fatherhood.

Today's topic is don't mistake apathy for grace or a couple different ways we can slice this

or say this is don't make sure you are not

fathering and communicating a grace that is just the cheap grace as bonhofer called it if you're

familiar with that phrase the enabling grace this concept of grace kind of means do whatever you

want however you want whenever you want now i'm cracking up because jeremy makes these these uh

schedule of these and literally last night was the moment.

I feel like that this finally showed up in one of our kids and kind of had a collision. And I loved it. And I was, and I was ready for it. So I kind of was smirking on the inside. But I also like, it does sting. And it's funny. Like, and Jeremy, you can unpack this. But like, so literally last night. I'm putting Kinsley down our oldest. Man, she's the sweetest. She's the best.

She goes down great. And we kind of have this rule of like, you got to let me do the routine because I do love putting them down. And I really want you to cultivate a thankful heart, thankful spirit. And the way you show that is when I leave, like no no asks are allowed that are like the dumb asks. Of course, if you're heard,

of course if you need something, of course has something happened, whatever. But you're not going to ask me for a water when I leave. You're not going to do whatever. And we just do small little corrections where basically when I leave, sometimes she'll do that. And so the corrections we do that's really helpful because you want to look for the things that are motivating to your kid. The correction we do is,

um,

Kinsley really cares about like her stuff,

right?

She has a couple little things in her room that she plays with

during quiet time, like little dolls and little things. And so every time she basically asked the question, I don't even say anything. I just walk in. I said, okay, I got to take some, I just basically take something out. I just say, okay, well, this has got to go for a couple days then and we can't have it anymore. And the minute I do that, it's like done. It just works. But last night, she, that happened.

Then I took it out.

And then she kind of started whining a little bit. So then I just wanted to engage with her instead of just like saying deal with it. So I went and talk to her for a minute. And I think the exact phrase, I was, I was cracky up. I was like, what did I say? I said something like, I forget, we were talking about love, right?

And we were talking about love and how, and all these things.

And I said something like, I forget, we're talking about love, right? And we were talking about love

and how and all these things. And I, and I said, and obedience and all these things. And the thing that came out of her mouth, which I just, she has never said this before was almost exactly of, if you love me, uh, you would have let me like had that or you would have like let me have the toy. Like She pulled that card, kind of like the...

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