Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign, or as it's known for short among her friends,

the cesspool of halacious corruption and dishonesty bent on elevating a desiccated,

sold-as-hag to the highest office in the land.

I can't tell you what her enemies call it.

But in any case, the campaign has been searching for a response to FBI Director James

Comey's announcement that he is investigating a new catch of Hillary's emails.

While at a beauty salon preparing for her next appearance, Hillary Clinton said she

wanted to send this message to Comey.

But before the campaign settled on that response, they rejected a number of other suggestions.

And today, Project Klavetas, a 501C3 non-profit charitable corporation designed to funnel money

into my personal offshore account, has recovered those suggested responses.

Here's the list of Clinton responses to the latest scandal that were rejected by her

campaign.

Number one, claim that this investigation is part of the same vast right-wing conspiracy

that falsely accused Bill Clinton of having an affair with an intern in the Oval Office.

Number two, run screaming through the streets, look behind you, Donald Trump is coming

run for your life, then shriek loudly in hopes of causing a panic.

Number three, admit that you made a mistake in using a private server, but point out that

you only did it to hide your other illegal activities.

Number four, admit that you've been a naughty girl in a sultry seductive voice and then

hike up the hem of your pantsuit and say, but how'd you like a piece of this action?

How big boy?

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