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This week 70,000 weirdos will descend on the Nevada desert

to bump uglies, roll around in filth and worship molac.

We will analyze how millennials' favorite pagan orgy

became America's most popular religious event.

Then we will explore why everybody is suddenly transgender.

Maybe me included.

Maybe I really am Rachel Maddow.

And we will blame our debauched sexual culture on British royalty

as seems fitting, historically speaking.

Finally, a primary night recap as CNN fills

our leftist tears tumblers to the brim.

...