Ep 204: Over-Giving in Relationships: A Codependency Workshop

Help Me Be Me

Cloud10

Health & Fitness

4.8 • 1.9K Ratings

🗓️ 17 August 2023

⏱️ 42 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

If you are a caregiver type or your relationship is somewhat uneven, this is an episode aimed at looking inward. It’s for seeing your role in how the imbalance is created. TBC, this is about becoming aware. Not making big moves or changes. Just simple curiosity and awareness. This is an episode that is going to challenge you! There’s this totally unconscious thing that happens as you are revealed next to someone. We start to feel vulnerable and with that, we seek control. This is when we start to do more and give more as a means of feeling more secure. It’s to abate feelings of “less-than.” If you are someone who gets too wrapped up in the thoughts or feelings of others then I think this episode will resonate with you. This also extends to feeling like you need others to act a certain way, or feeling like you are doing it all and the other person in your relationship is not doing enough. In other words, getting stuck in a caregiver role or a role where you are the one who is overactive, and they are the one who is under-active. What it really comes down to is not being able to accept the truth of someone as they are. In that denial there is some overcompensation that occurs which leads to feeling really angry at them for not being the way you want them to be. So that’s where this episode is focused! For more of my work or to make a donation you can head to YayWithMe.com To support this week’s sponsors check out: Quince! Lovely minimalist fashion without the designer pricetag. Upgrade your closet this summer with Quince. Go to Quince.com/helpmebeme to get free shipping and 365-day returns on your next order. Meet Earth Breeze! My new favorite detergent. Better for the planet, and SO much easier to use. Right now, my listeners can subscribe to Earth Breeze and save 40%! Go to EarthBreeze.com/HelpMeBeMe Rocket Money! Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions – and manage your money the easy way – by going to RocketMoney.com/helpmebeme Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Welcome to Help Me Be Me. I'm your host, Sarah May Bates. I'm a writer, director, mom,
0:06.3	and a breakup coach with an MAMFT. And this podcast is kind of like a personal relationship.
0:11.8	In that I talk to you, like your my friend. I provide tools to help you feel more grounded,
0:16.5	empowered, inspired, and most of all, help you see yourself. This is aimed at creating
0:21.8	more harmony and happiness in the relationship you have with you, so you can better guide
0:26.4	your life, and also be better to those you love. Take what helps and leave the rest. This
0:32.2	is not a diagnosis for treatment. If you're really struggling, call your local emergency services.
0:43.6	Hi, everyone. This is an episode I am calling a co-dependency workshop. And I would say this
0:50.6	is an episode that is going to challenge you. So if you are a caregiver type who does all the
0:56.3	work in your relationships, this is kind of an episode for a I would call it being introspective
1:03.0	or just taking an inventory. And really it's about seeing your power and also your role in how
1:12.1	this dynamic is created. And really just calling out these unconscious motives that we have,
1:20.3	there is this weird desire to keep someone reliant or less than in the power position of a
1:30.6	relationship. And that is not deliberate. It's more just something that we fall into because it
1:37.0	feels safe and it feels comfortable for us. So this is an episode that's really about becoming
1:43.3	aware of all of those little things. And that's it. It's not about making big moves or big changes
1:50.0	or blowing up a relationship. It's just about kind of evoking this curiosity and awareness
1:57.8	around all of these things that are happening so kind of, you know, underground in a relationship
2:04.9	dynamic. It's this unconscious thing that occurs as you are reveals next to someone like if we have
2:13.0	a history of neediness of some sort that is created by an imbalance in a relationship,
2:19.8	let's say with a caregiver, that will continue on in our adult relationships. And it often comes up
2:27.9	as soon as we feel completely vulnerable to someone. And we can kind of get agitated by the feelings
	...

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