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Before we begin today's episode of Potterless, I wanted to make a very special announcement

because for 19 episodes, the podcast sounded like this. And now, thanks to your

Patreon contributions, it sounds like this. So thank you guys so much everyone who supported

on Patreon for allowing this audio upgrade to happen. I'm so excited for the rest of the episodes

of Potterless to sound so much more professional. I could not have done it without you guys,

so thank you so much. Also in exciting news, we have a website now. So if you go to potterlesspodcast.com, you will see a stunning website designed by my girlfriend, Kelly Beckman, who did some awesome web design work for us. And the website is fantastic. It's got all the episodes listed. It has ways you can support the podcast, ways you can get involved, and there's so much more potential things we can do in the future with it. So I'm very excited for the future of that website as well. And finally, we need to thank our newest Patreon supporters. So a huge shout out to Alex Schultt, Hannah Buffman and Emily Wiffin, and also to two new producer level patrons, Sadie Bear and Griffin Meckleberg,

who used to be a producer-level patron, then he had to take a break, but now he's back. So, Griffin, welcome back to the producer team. And of course, thanks to the rest of our producer-level patrons, Leon Davis, Andreas Ozelby, Aaron Johnson, Erica and Calvin Bauer, and Michael VanderSlice, who never cracked the yolks when they make fried eggs. So without further ado, let's get into episode 20 of Potterless, starring Melissa and Ellie,

the New York Times bestselling author of Harry A History.

Thank you. Hello, Internet.

Welcome back to Potterless, the journey of a grown man reading Harry Potter for the first time.

My name is Mike Schubert, and we're here today to tackle chapters 24 through 30 of Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. And I'm very excited because we have a very special guest, a New York Times bestseller, which sounds ridiculous coming out of my mouth. Melissa, how are you? I'm doing okay. How about you? Don't worry. It still sounds ridiculous coming out of my mouth, too. Yeah. How does it feel to have that in your Twitter bio every day? Just look at it and be like, oh, wow, I did that? Yeah, sometimes I look at it and I'm like, really? Did that happen? So, for everyone who doesn't know, Melissa wrote a best-selling book called Harry A History, which kind of just documented the history of the Harry Potter phenomenon because she was very involved with the leaky Caldron and all stuff like that.

And now you're the CEO of Mischief Management, which puts on Leaky Khan and Con of Thrones and Broadway Con, all good stuff.

We specialize in putting passion right into person.

Beautiful. I love it. So basically, Melissa is the opposite of me. She knows everything about Harry Potter and the world.

Oh, God.

It's going to be great. So let's get right into it because we have a meaty

...