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Well, we are back after a two-week break, which, of course, in the podcasting business

means we've missed approximately 100,000 news cycles or so.

We weren't able to cover the 15 different ceasefire agreements that we signed with Iran,

each of which lasted on average about five minutes, so we're very effective.

We couldn't even cover Taylor Swift's wedding to the 13th best tight-in in the NFL.

Very private, reverent affair held in a Madison Square Garden with Adam Sandler officiating.

As a big fan of Taylor Swift and an even bigger fan of celebrity weddings, as you know,

I would have liked to do my show live from outside the venue,

you know, cover it live. But unfortunately, I was on vacation. Also, from what I understand,

anyone who came within a five-block radius of the ceremony with a net worth under $100 million

was immediately shot on site. And most tragically of all, we weren't able to discuss the day-to-day

...