What's up guys? Welcome back to the pot. It's a mailbag episode. I'm going to get right into it because we don't do these that much. Sorry, I just had a really delicious bagel. It was so yummy.

I love pop-up bagels, but sometimes I do want a sandwich and I want someone to cut it and toast it for me. So that's what I did this am. I got the order. The order is toasted, everything cream cheese, tomato, onion, cucumber. It's very important. Don't be one of those people who's like, I don't like cucumber. It's watery. It's fresh. Okay, let me tell you something. It's fresh. It's not watery. And you need to ask for salt and pepper. Okay, it's crucial. It's crucial.

If you really want to micromanage it, sometimes I just stand there like a full fucking Karen and I'm like, can you salt the tomatoes specifically? But, you know, you don't always have to be that extra.

Okay, these are all a non. So I'm just going to tell you that now. This person is 28 for Miami. On one of your more recent pods, you talked about how traveling alone is not for you.

I have never been that person either, but I'm about four months removed from a bad relationship. One thing I do miss about that relationship was the traveling we did together. That said, I'm ready to get out there and try traveling solo because I really miss it. If you had to choose a couple of cities that you think would be best for solo travel, which would they be?

This is a tough question because like I literally hate traveling alone. Like I truly you guys keep trying to change my mind. Like I obviously went to Paris for eight days alone recently and I did have friends there, but guys, I just the entire time was thinking I wish I was with someone. I'm not going to I'm not going to lie to you.

I cannot think of one place where I'd want to go alone. I'm being real and that's personal. It's not what's right. It's just for me.

Like if I had to go somewhere alone, it would be for work and that's kind of where I'm at. I'll tell you some of my favorite cities, but I don't know if they're fun to do alone. I love Mexico City more than anything. I'm like every six months. I have a big like research and stuff. Oh my God, I really want to learn Spanish. I think it's a beautiful language. Like I love all the Spanish speaking countries. So I love Mexico City. I mean, there's a lot of beautiful museums there.

And then you can honestly take a car and go to San Miguel del Alende and that is actually a great place to go. But you know what? I went with a boyfriend at the time and it was really fun.

So consider grabbing a friend for that portion, but maybe you could do the Mexico City exploration by yourself. Love you.

Okay. So I met a man, a real actual man. We have been dating for three months and I love it. Real dates, real combos, real plans, real everything.

We aren't official, but he has given me no reason to make me feel insecure or wonder what else he is doing. I feel cared for, supported, and most of all communicated to.

So everything is great. Why am I writing? Well, of course, things shit just can't be perfect. For the whole time we have been dating, he pays for everything.

I reach for my wallet or I ask, can I treat? And he always politely says, no, this is on me. And when I say you don't have to, he always responds with, I know, but I want to.

He never comes off as condescending, controlling or demanding, but instead feels the opposite. It feels sweet.

So on our last date, I chose a steakhouse. I know he has been dying to try when he was in the bathroom. I gave my credit card at the waiter to pay the bill.

Knowing he would never let me if I waited. I thought this has come across as a cute surprise. And I was so excited selfishly to bask in the glowing rays of his gratitude. Well, tanks, I got the opposite.

The bill came and he realized I paid. He was very standoffish and explained that he didn't love that I did this and then it made him feel uncomfortable.

I've seen him once in two weeks and I'm scared that something I was so excited about is now dead in the water over something so stupid.

What do you think? Is this something so good that is being affected by a weird bump in the road or toxic mass skill and a red flag that I should be running from?

Honestly, three months in, it does kind of strike me as a little weird that he would get that offended over something. And to me, this kind of feel, the fact that he got so upset about it is giving me a bit of a red flag because money is often used as a way to control people in relationships, especially women.

And to me, it kind of sounds like he was making you depend not dependent on him, but like getting you accustomed to him paying for everything so that he has that control.

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