Ep. 171: Setting Boundaries With Fear
Your Anxiety Toolkit - Practical Skills for Anxiety, Panic & Depression
Kimberley Quinlan, LMFT | Anxiety & OCD Specialist
4.9 • 882 Ratings
🗓️ 8 January 2021
⏱️ 17 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit podcast. It's a new year and as we settle into 2021, I am actually going to ask you guys to set a little bit of a goal. Not a resolution, a goal. I am so excited to talk with you all today about this topic because I really hope that this will be the goal you set for yourself this year. I would like for you to start the year by setting boundaries with fear.
Now why do I think setting boundaries with fear is so important? Think about it this way, if someone came into your home, you wouldn't just allow them to behave any way they wanted. Right? No, you set boundaries in your home about what kind of behavior is going to be allowed and we know that those boundaries must remain consistent. I want you to try setting those same boundaries when fear shows up in your life. I would encourage you to sit down and actually write out what boundaries are you going to set with fear this year? And then the work begins by holding those boundaries consistently. You may say to fear "No, fear. I see that you're here. It's okay that you're here. I'm not going to wrestle with you and I'm not going to do the thing you told me to do. I'm going to hold that boundary very strongly."
I also want to encourage you to to set some boundaries with yourselves in the way that you speak to yourselves. Really try to be compassionate towards yourself and not use unkind words towards yourselves anymore. That's a strong boundary. You hold it, you set it, and you consistently put it into place. For example, let's say you don't hold the boundary very well with fear, instead of using unkind words about yourself try saying, "Okay, I'm not going to beat myself up. I made a deal and that's where I'm going to hold the consistency."
I hope you will try starting the year by setting those strong boundaries with fear, uncertainty, disgust, OCD, your eating disorder, your body-focused repetitive behavior, whatever it may be. Not letting them walk all over your life. And most importantly, I hope you can start the year by being very kind and gentle with yourself.
If you have some time, I would love it if you would please go and leave me an honest review wherever you listen to podcasts – Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Podbean, or Stitcher. This would really be helpful to me in achieving my goal for 2021 of being able to reach and help more people. Thank you so much!
ERP School, BFRB School and Mindfulness School for OCD are open for purchase. Click here for more information.
Additional exciting news! ERP School is now CEU approved which means that it is an accredited course for therapists and mental health professionals to take towards their continuing education credit hours. Please click here for more information.
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | This is Your Anxiety Toolkit, episode number 171. |
| 0:10.0 | Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit. I'm your host, Kimberly Quinlan. This podcast is |
| 0:16.0 | fueled by three main goals. The first goal is to provide you with some extra tools to help you manage your |
| 0:22.2 | anxiety. Second goal, to inspire you. Anxiety doesn't get to decide how you live your life. And number |
| 0:29.6 | three, and I leave the best for last, is to provide you with one big, fat virtual hug, because |
| 0:36.8 | experiencing anxiety ain't easy. If that sounds good to you, |
| 0:40.7 | let's go. Well, welcome back. Happy New Year, everybody. Okay, it's 2021. Let's do this. Let's hope that we have an easier year. Let's hope we have a |
| 1:01.6 | healthier year. Let's hope we have a braver year, a more mindful year, whatever you want it to be |
| 1:09.0 | year. Even if you're thinking you want it to be a peaceful year, a happy year, whatever you want it to be year. Even if you're thinking you want it to be a peaceful |
| 1:12.7 | year, a happy year, whatever your goals are, I wish that for you and I hope that for you. |
| 1:19.7 | For me, I'm actually going to set you guys a little bit of a goal, not a resolution, a goal. |
| 1:26.7 | And I really, really am excited about talking with this topic with you today |
| 1:31.7 | because I would like it to be the goal you set for yourself this year. Now, this year's goal for you |
| 1:39.7 | is to start the year by setting strong boundaries with fear. That's my hope for you. |
| 1:50.1 | In addition to all the other good stuff, I hope that you can practice setting, I'll say it |
| 1:57.5 | again, strong boundaries with fear or anxiety or disgust or uncertainty or whatever |
| 2:04.4 | it is that you particularly struggle with. Now, why do I word it this way? Well, think of it like this. |
| 2:14.6 | If you had someone who came to your house and as you open the door, they pushed through the |
| 2:22.8 | door, pushed past you and said, I'm going to rearrange your room. Or I am going to be here. |
| 2:32.5 | I am going to tell you what to do all day. I am going to make you do |
| 2:38.2 | compulsions. I am going to make you do the dishes or whatever it says. You would naturally set a very |
| 2:46.4 | strong boundary with that person, I hope, right? Hopefully you wouldn't do what they said. Sometimes |
... |
Please login to see the full transcript.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from Kimberley Quinlan, LMFT | Anxiety & OCD Specialist, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of Kimberley Quinlan, LMFT | Anxiety & OCD Specialist and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2026.

