We risk becoming an island of strangers. We will strive for the denopsification of the globe. Because he can't grow, can't grow. Yes you can. They're eating the dogs. They're eating the dinosaurs. Under the EU, we weren't allowed to eat grits. I just don't get it. I just think everyone should be sure. What the fuck is going on?

Hello, I'm Mark Still.

Welcome to my podcast where each week we survey the beauty and glory of the current global situation as people such as Mr Trump and Mr Putin and Mr Netanyahu

just redouble their efforts to fulfil the world with kindness and glory.

And upon surveying all of this, we ask the question,

what the fuck is going on?

To start with, the question, what the fuck is going on? What the fuck is going on?

To start with this week, we bring the sad news that Mike Concrete, who once was a regular feature of this podcast, has lost his job, and it's a very sad business. And in

order to pay proper tribute to this fine soul, we have, in fact, the recording of the meeting in which he was sacked.

And I think it's only fair to Mike if we play that out.

Well, I'm lucky as day.

We've got two sweet little darlings from the fairer sex.

They're both board members of the company that runs my show,

Emily and Petula.

How are you, me lollipops?

We've been like Mike.

Hi.

So tell us what's going on.

Am I getting a top podcast award for my lecture demanding all vegetables are destroyed and controlled explosions and replaced by sausages?

No, Mike. I'm afraid that award went to Alistair Campbell and Rory Stewart.

Am I getting a Nobel Peace Prize for insisting the unemployed shouldn't be given benefit unless

they're prepared to take a job as Catherine wheels in firework displays the parasitic verbin.

...