I've finally found it. After years and decades even of searching, I have finally found the most perfect mainstream media article ever written.

It comes to us, thanks to President Trump, by way of reporters without borders, headline.

Trump's foreign aid freeze throws journalism around the world into chaos.

Now that headline alone is pretty funny.

Why would the presidents enacting a policy throw journalism into chaos?

Shouldn't that be good for journalism?

Isn't the president doing things the sort of thing that journalists exist to cover?

Why is that throwing journalism into chaos?

We learn the reason in the subheader right here in bold.

President Donald Trump has frozen billions of dollars around the world in aid projects,

including over $268 million allocated by Congress to support independent media and the free flow of information.

I want you, hold on. Pause. Did you catch that?

$268 million allocated by Congress to support independent media.

That, I'm pretty sure, is a contradiction in terms,

because media outlets that depend for their very existence on hundreds of millions of dollars from the government are, by definition, not independent.

Those outlets are extremely dependent. They are the dependent media. Traditionally, we call them state

media, actually. But Reporters Without Borders goes on and doubles down. The paragraph concludes by

calling, quote, on international public and

private support to commit to the sustainability of independent media. Public support, that's government

support for independent media. And the demands are increasingly desperate, like the Wizard of

Oz when he is revealed as a fraud.

We are the great and powerful independent media.

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