Ep. 161: Feeling Guilty Doesn't Mean You Have Done Something Wrong
Your Anxiety Toolkit - Practical Skills for Anxiety, Panic & Depression
Kimberley Quinlan, LMFT | Anxiety & OCD Specialist
4.9 • 882 Ratings
🗓️ 20 October 2020
⏱️ 13 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary

Welcome back to another episode of Your Anxiety Toolkit Podcast. Today's episode comes out of a conversation I had with a client and I thought you all might need to hear this as well. Today we are going to be talking about guilt and this idea that feeling guilty doesn't mean you have done something wrong.
I know that idea might feel strange. When we are feeling guilty, we usually assume that means we have done something wrong. Try thinking of guilt as an intersection. When the feeling arises you can chose to take the road that you have done something wrong or you can go in a different direction and try asking yourself "Is this real? Is there actually evidence that I have done something wrong? Is there a chance that my brain has made a mistake and set off the guilt alarm without there being a problem?" If you see that there is no evidence that you did something wrong, you can try practicing compassion and mindfulness and just allow those feelings of guilt to be there. If you recognize that yes you made a mistake then you can work to address the situation.
A lot of us simply have a little glitch in the guilt system and our guilt gets fired off a bit too easily, too often, and at times where guilt isn't really that appropriate. Guilt is just an emotion and when it comes up it provides an opportunity for growth. Guilt can be painful and it can make us feel bad about ourselves, but remember that you have a choice when guilt shows up. You can choose that road of compassion and simply allow the emotion of guilt to be there.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | This is Your Anxiety Toolkit, episode number 161. |
| 0:10.5 | Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit. I'm your host, Kimberly Quinlan. This podcast is fueled by three main goals. |
| 0:18.5 | The first goal is to provide you with some extra tools to help you manage your anxiety. |
| 0:23.7 | Second goal, to inspire you. |
| 0:26.3 | Anxiety doesn't get to decide how you live your life. |
| 0:29.7 | And number three, and I leave the best for last, is to provide you with one big, fat virtual hug. |
| 0:36.8 | Because experiencing anxiety ain't easy. |
| 0:39.5 | If that sounds good to you, let's go. |
| 0:46.9 | Well, welcome back, everybody. |
| 0:50.0 | I'm so honored once again to spend this really precious time with you. How are you all doing? |
| 0:56.7 | How are you all coping? I have to first start this episode by saying I had this epiphany the other day. |
| 1:03.8 | I was at the grocery store. Everyone had on their masks. Everyone was busy shopping, head down, |
| 1:10.5 | getting their things out of the way moving out of the way |
| 1:13.1 | for each other and I had this moment of gratitude wave over me of how incredibly grateful I am but |
| 1:22.6 | how proud I am of everyone for just coping the way they are I I mean, even if you're coping isn't so great |
| 1:31.1 | right now, we're handling some really, really hard stuff. For those of you who live in California |
| 1:37.9 | or America, we're still really struggling with COVID-19. And I just had this moment of going, |
| 1:42.9 | wow, look at us. We're handling this. |
| 1:45.4 | We're dealing with it. Even though it's hard, even though it's painful, even though it's |
| 1:50.4 | triggering, we are getting through this. And I just wanted to share that with you because it was |
| 1:56.6 | an epiphany for me. You know, I think sometimes we just look at how hard it is and we forget to |
| 2:03.8 | celebrate our ability to cope. And, you know, I think we're coping way better than we thought |
... |
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