Welcome back, family.

Glad you are here for another episode of we're going there because today we are doing

just that.

The interview with today's guest went nothing like expected, and I'm truly

grateful it didn't. Dr. Anita Phillips is a learner, teacher, and therapist who spits wisdom like

rappers spit bars. We're going to talk about some tough stuff today, so gird your loins and

be forewarned. And though your story might not be her story or your experience, her experience, I do know that all of us have experience a feeling of rejection.

So with that lens and filter, let's have a quick conversation about creating a safe place for conversation.

When it comes to experiencing rejection, psychologists have discovered that the same part of the brain that registers and reacts to physical pain is also activated when

encountering an emotional pain of feeling excluded. Like the hurt that you feel when you feel left

out, it registers in the same part of your brain as when you feel a physical hurt of, let's say,

stubbing your toe. Feeling like an outsider desperately looking in can be emotionally excruciating.

Social psychologists have identified numerous consequences to feeling left out, including

increased feelings of anger, anxiety, depression, and jealousy, reduced motivation, lack of

self-control, difficulty sleeping, and yes, lower self-esteem.

Unfortunately, the same fears of rejection that we've felt based on how we've been treated by others is also what prevents us from reaching out to others who might be experiencing the pains

of exclusion.

Thankfully, there's an anecdote to feeling left out.

We need to create psychological safety.

Psychological safety refers to the security

we need to feel confident in taking risk in our relationship with others. It's the emotional

parachute we need before we'll even consider jumping out of the plane. When we feel psychologically

...