forget about the presidential race,

the DOJ indicting two Russians for allegedly funding

right-wing media personalities, we'll get to it, don't worry.

I want to focus on a far more culturally significant story

than any of that stuff.

A person on the internet

has posted an alleged PR strategy document outlining plans for Taylor Swift and

Travis Kelsey's breakup later this month. Is it true? I don't know probably not but maybe.

Travis Kelsey's publicist Jack Quitocyan has admitted to orchestrating showmances in the past.

Five years ago, he told an Australian podcast

that Hollywood routinely stages fake romances

to promote projects or to turn the tide on bad publicity.

And the whole Taylor Travis story has been a conspicuously

blockbuster affair with the most popular singer in the world

dating an all-American football star who won the Super Bowl the year they started

dating. In this case everyone involved is denying the report and lawyering up

but I would like to suggest an easy way that Taylor and Travis could put the rumors to rest.

Get married. I'm not anti-Taylor. I am not anti-Travis. I know that some conservatives are because

Taylor Swift is sort of liberal in the generally inoffensive and even somewhat charming

way that virtually all young single white women are liberal.

And they usually get more conservative once they're married, which is another good reason for her to get married.

But also, they're both 34.

...