WikiLeaks, the international non-profit journalistic organization dedicated to exposing secret documents,

has released a recent exchange of letters between murderous ISIS leader Abu Bakar al-Baghdadi

and blandly sinister attorney general, Loura Linch, as a public service the daily wire now presents

the contents of those letters. Dear blandly sinister attorney general Linch, I hope you are well and

had a fabulous 4th of July. I am writing to take responsibility for the recent terrorist attacks

around the globe, including the Orlando mass murder of homosexuals, the bombings at Ataturk

airport in Istanbul and the butchery of those in Bangladesh who could not recite verses from the

Quran. These and other slaughters were carried out in the name of Allah for the purpose of establishing

an eternal worldwide Islamic caliphate. Having a wonderful time, wish you were here,

sincerely Abu Bakar al-Baghdadi. Dear Mr. al-Baghdadi, thank you for your letter.

Regarding the murderous attacks on innocent civilians to which you refer, we here at the Justice

Department have overseen thorough investigations into these events. We may never know the motives

of those who perpetrated these acts, but we believe our most effective response to terror and hatred

is compassion, unity and love, best to the family, sincerely blandly sinister attorney general

Loretta Lynch. Dear General Sinister, I was puzzled by your response to my recent letter in which

you say you may never know the motives of those who perpetrated our latest acts of Quranic terror.

Since I am the one who perpetrated them and I've already told you I did so in the name of Allah

as a means of establishing the eternal caliphate of Islam, I am not sure what part of my motive I

have left unclear, please explain. BTW, thank you for your compassion, unity and love, I look forward

to killing you and destroying your civilization. All the best, Abu. Dear Abu, thanks for your note.

I am glad to hear you share our concern over gun violence. While cynical groups have tried to

diverter our attention and spread Islamophobia by focusing on a twisted version of Islam, we hope

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