New Year, new me. Nah. I'm fine just the way I am. Doing the things I love. Like enjoying

a latte on the bus with some music or on a walk with a friend. My only resolution is

to enjoy more of what I love. Like switching up my usual with oat, soy, almond or coconut.

All delicious non-dairy alternatives available at Starbucks. For no extra charge. While stocks

last subject to availability. Experts are warning that the British vote to leave the European

Union could be a disaster for experts. One expert prognosticator, Seymour wrongly of the

prognosticating firm, wrongly, wrongly and wrongly, told reporters, quote, Brexit is just

terribly irresponsible. In fact, it could be the worst thing that ever happened to me.

I predicted that the vote would cause the moon to turn to blood and the nations of the world

to be laid waste. Obviously, that's not going to happen. What am I supposed to do now?

Find a job? I don't have any skills. What were these people thinking? Unquote.

European MPs or Reginald sneering also issued an angry statement about the vote saying, quote,

I'm disgusted that a group of ill-educated yobbs could be so stupid as to want arrogant and

unaccountable elites to stop telling them what to do. How do Britain think they'll engage in trade

without the European Union? This surrounded by water. You can't just send goods across water,

they'll sink. How will other countries even know what the British are saying when they don't

speak English? Without people like myself controlling events, we could go right back to the old days

when Britain was just a tiny, isolated island that ruled the world. Unquote.

Young people who voted for Britain to remain in the union were particularly upset that the votes

of older people determined the outcome. 22-year-old Dastard P. Eustlis told reporters, quote,

why should my 85-year-old Gramps decide my future just because he helped win World War II and

I live in his garage? In a few years he'll be dead and I'll be stuck here without Brussels to tell

...