EP 140: This Feels Like A Life Sentence
So What Now? with Carla and Dex
Idea to Launch Productions
4.8 • 592 Ratings
🗓️ 17 November 2021
⏱️ 18 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
My life revolves around my kids and my family and now it feels like the woman that I am is in prison.
My spirit got me out of bed and told me to vocalize what I am feeling today and in the coming weeks.
Who is Carla today? Is she just a mom? Will she ever be a woman again?
Tune in and go on this journey again with me. It is not pretty but it is raw.
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Wow. Wow. I want this microphone and y'all, I'm not going to lie to you. It feels like I don't belong here anymore. |
| 0:12.3 | Last night I had a conversation with a friend and she's saying, girl, you got to get back on the mic. You have to record Pivot with Purpose again. |
| 0:19.4 | And I haven't been here in so long that |
| 0:21.5 | at this point it feels like, do I even belong here? Am I supposed to be here? I don't know how to |
| 0:28.3 | explain the feeling of, did I fall off? Maybe that's not right. I don't know how to explain it, |
| 0:35.0 | but I am officially in Jersey. You know, most of you guys follow me on social media. |
| 0:40.0 | I pretty much document a lot on my social media. |
| 0:44.1 | But that goes away. |
| 0:45.6 | And the point of my podcast has always been. |
| 0:48.4 | It's somewhere where my life, my story, my purpose lives on forever. It can be, you know, repurposed in some type of way. |
| 0:57.8 | And since I've moved, since becoming a mother again, I feel like I have lost some of the |
| 1:04.4 | purpose of myself as a woman. And if you're a mom, I'm sure you probably understand where |
| 1:09.7 | I'm coming from. If you have been through, you know, some crazy changes, you know, where I'm coming from. One thing that happened to me lately is that I started feeling like this life became a life sentence. I have been so anxious. I have been dealing with crazy panic attacks again, although I am living |
| 1:29.8 | in the prayer that I prayed for so long. We expect for things to be so smooth. I ask God for the |
| 1:37.9 | perfect man. I ask God for the perfect family, for a home, for the career. And of course, I feel like God has to remind me all the time |
| 1:46.8 | nothing is perfect I'm not giving you perfect I'm giving you what you need and it's been tough |
| 1:52.4 | it's been really tough because I like control I like to know what I'm getting into I like to |
| 1:58.5 | make sure that it all goes my way and nothing. And I mean |
| 2:02.9 | nothing is going my way. And going back to that life sentence, I have felt like it's been a life |
| 2:10.5 | sentence. And that's not a positive thing, right? That's an extremely negative way to view things. I have been obsessing. I have been |
| 2:19.8 | fixating. So I said to myself, okay, we're going to hop back on this microphone. Like I told my |
| 2:25.1 | friend last night. And I don't know if it would be maybe just 10 minutes, 15 minutes, |
... |
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