Ep. 132 - Guilt before/during or after a breakup
How to Get Over Your Ex
Dorothy AB Johnson
4.7 • 577 Ratings
🗓️ 7 March 2022
⏱️ 20 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Are you feeling guilty for the reasons your ex broke up with you? Responsible for how the relationship ended? Or maybe you feel guilty because you promised to love him forever and now you're ready to end things? Or maybe you're feeling guilty because after you left he didn't have support and help which caused a downward spiral in his life. Or guilty because if roles were reversed, he wouldn't do this.
In today's episode we are going to be talking all about guilt. Guilt when leaving/left a relationship, guilt for staying when you don't want to be there, guilt for the way you showed up that may have caused the breakup in the first place.
In today's episode:
- Learn why you're feeling guilty and what to do about it
- Understand how guilt specifically affects your present and future
- Become the person who utilizes guilt in a productive way and then moves forward
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | You were listening to How to Get Over Your Ex, episode number 132, guilt before, during, or after a breakup. |
| 0:08.5 | Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, welcome to How to Get Over Your Ex, a podcast on getting over your ex without it just taking time. |
| 0:24.3 | I'm your host, breakup coach Dorothy. |
| 0:26.5 | Let's turn your pain into power and your heartbreak into happy. |
| 0:32.1 | Hello, my beautiful brave hearts. |
| 0:36.1 | Today, today we're talking about guilt so many of you are bringing this |
| 0:42.3 | up it came up inside of the get over your X program it has come up in a lot of Q&As that I've done |
| 0:47.7 | guest coaching experiences that I've participated in guilt seems to be something that keeps coming up. |
| 0:57.2 | And I'm not a fan. |
| 0:59.8 | I've never really seen it be useful in long-term scenarios. |
| 1:04.7 | And I really want to talk about it. |
| 1:06.8 | And now, some of you, there's like a variety here, right? Some of you are feeling guilty for |
| 1:14.1 | leaving a relationship and maybe you're feeling guilty for staying in a relationship or |
| 1:21.1 | guilty for how you behaved inside of the relationship that may have led to the breakup in the first place. So I'm seeing |
| 1:30.4 | guilt in all three of those areas and I really want to cover it all with you because when I'm |
| 1:36.5 | speaking to my clients about this, they very much feel like it is necessary. They very much feel like |
| 1:42.9 | it's required and it's interesting because we're |
| 1:48.0 | handling it a lot differently than we would any other emotion. So let's just take a moment and look |
| 1:55.1 | at what guilt is. So when I look up the definition on the amazing Googles, it says that guilt is feeling responsible |
| 2:03.9 | or regretful for a perceived offense, real or imaginary. Now, what's fascinating to that for me |
| 2:14.5 | is that it says perceived offense. So either you perceive an offense or the other person perceives |
| 2:21.5 | an offense, which is all about perception, the lens that you're looking at all of the world through, |
... |
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