Kill a little time for the child within you. Don't be afraid to be young and free.

Under the locks and throw away the keys and take coffee shoes and sex and run you.

I'm Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart, and I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective.

And this is Jordan. Jesse, go!

This week on Jordan, Jesse, go! We finally say what everyone's been thinking. What's going on with the worldwide waffle crisis? Let's go!

It's Jordan, Jesse, go. I am Jesse Thorne, America's radio sweetheart.

I'm Jordan Morris, boy detective.

A beautiful, a beautiful day in Los Angeles. The weather has turned to spring here in the city of angels.

Have you guys' thoughts turned to fancy?

Am I allowed to talk?

Yeah, sure. Why not Chris Hardwick?

Well, that's me.

Oh, if it isn't Chris Hardwick, a lovely vernal weekend with most of the roads closed because of the fabulous LA marathon.

Chris Hardwick, you know, Jordan, I don't know if you knew this.

I know that you know that Chris Hardwick is, of course, an accomplished stand-up comedian.

Yes.

I know that you know that he's half of the hilarious music duo, Hardin Firm.

Did you know that since the last time he appeared on this program, Chris Hardwick has not only his own television program,

but his own smash hit podcast?

Wow. That's pretty good.

Would you say that we're, like, directly responsible or, like, solely responsible?

I don't think solely is an overestimation.

...