Here at the Andrew Claven Show, we don't usually bother with celebrity news because I like to think

my audience is too smart and sophisticated for that. But of course, that's ridiculous. I mean, look at

you. So today we're going to catch up on the shenanigans of the famous, rich, and powerful

because it's degrading and waste precious moments of our lives. And that's what the Andrew

Claven Show is all about. So, let's get started. According to the Daily Mail,

Byron Noam, the husband of former DHS secretary Christy Noem, has been secretly posting

pictures of himself online, wearing women's hot pink underwear and enormous fake breasts.

Christy Noam said she was absolutely devastated to discover her husband was a Democrat,

but she did feel that this might explain how she could sleep with Corey Lewandowski and consider

it an upgrade. President Trump said he felt sorry for the Noam family, although he congratulated

Byron on having such a nice rack.

Champion Philanderer Tiger Woods, while apparently under the influence of drugs and alcohol,

rolled his car over after clipping a truck. Woods told police his life was full of so much sex and

success and money that only abusing substances could keep him from sinking

into despair. He was charged with three counts of driving while being an ungrateful schmuck.

Shapely, semi-attractive Australian actress Millie Alcock has been cast a star in the $300 million

DC studio film Supergirl. Alcott told Vanity Fair that the role,

quote, definitely made me aware that simply existing as a woman in that space is something

that people comment on. We have become very comfortable having this weird ownership of women's

bodies, unquote. The comment won Alcock, the coveted racial comfortable having this weird ownership of women's bodies."

The comment won Alcock the coveted Rachel Ziegler Award, a bronze statuette of a mouth without a brain attached, that is given to the shapely semi-attractive actress most likely to tank a studio's investment while under the delusion that people want to hear her opinions.

Medical experts say this delusion is often brought on by men, telling women they are interested

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