Ep. 1263 - Trump vs the Decadent Mind
The Andrew Klavan Show
The Andrew Klavan Show
4.8 • 22.7K Ratings
🗓️ 23 January 2026
⏱️ 71 minutes
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| 0:00.0 | In a tense confrontation, reminiscent of the Cuban Missile Crisis, except without Cuba, or the missiles, or really the crisis, |
| 0:07.0 | the United States has narrowly avoided a harrowing war with Denmark. |
| 0:12.0 | The crisis, or whatever, began when Donald Trump demanded Denmark hand Greenland over to the U.S. |
| 0:18.0 | and issued a saber-rattling threat in which the sabres were made entirely of |
| 0:22.7 | Legos just to add insult to injury. Trump said, quote, since you lousy Danes have repeatedly refused to |
| 0:29.2 | give me the Nobel Peace Prize, I see no reason why I should continue to be peaceful if I don't get a |
| 0:34.2 | prize for it. And the Nobel Prize I received from that cuckie Venezuelan dame |
| 0:38.1 | with a name like a Spanish dance number doesn't count because people just laugh when they see it. |
| 0:43.1 | So I'm sending it back and taking Greenland instead." Unquote. |
| 0:47.3 | When Secretary of State Marco Rubio explained that the Nobel Peace Prize is given in Norway, |
| 0:51.8 | not Denmark, Trump became so enraged, he appointed Rubio |
| 0:54.9 | the King of France, so he'd have his head cut off. When he found out the French no longer cut |
| 0:58.9 | people's heads off, he appointed Rubio the First Lady of France and leaked the news to Candace |
| 1:03.2 | Owens. Panicked by the threat of invasion, the Danish prime minister whose name no one can pronounce |
| 1:09.3 | and who might even be a chick for all I know, |
| 1:11.7 | ordered four brigades of the 101st Hans Christian Anderson Division to sail to Greenland |
| 1:16.9 | on one of those cute little sailboats like the one in the Little Mermaid. |
| 1:20.4 | This increased the tension because despite its small size, the Danish military is renowned |
| 1:25.2 | for its tough training, though it's mostly in folk dancing. |
| 1:28.8 | Meanwhile, the administration got to work preparing for war by testing out various battle cries, |
| 1:36.2 | like damn you Danes, no one can even understand what you're saying. |
| 1:39.6 | And give us Greenland, Denmark, and none of your sneaky Danish tricks. |
... |
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