Ep. 1263 - Trump vs the Decadent Mind

The Andrew Klavan Show

Society & Culture

4.8 • 22.7K Ratings

🗓️ 23 January 2026

⏱️ 71 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

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Transcript

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0:00.0	In a tense confrontation, reminiscent of the Cuban Missile Crisis, except without Cuba, or the missiles, or really the crisis,
0:07.0	the United States has narrowly avoided a harrowing war with Denmark.
0:12.0	The crisis, or whatever, began when Donald Trump demanded Denmark hand Greenland over to the U.S.
0:18.0	and issued a saber-rattling threat in which the sabres were made entirely of
0:22.7	Legos just to add insult to injury. Trump said, quote, since you lousy Danes have repeatedly refused to
0:29.2	give me the Nobel Peace Prize, I see no reason why I should continue to be peaceful if I don't get a
0:34.2	prize for it. And the Nobel Prize I received from that cuckie Venezuelan dame
0:38.1	with a name like a Spanish dance number doesn't count because people just laugh when they see it.
0:43.1	So I'm sending it back and taking Greenland instead." Unquote.
0:47.3	When Secretary of State Marco Rubio explained that the Nobel Peace Prize is given in Norway,
0:51.8	not Denmark, Trump became so enraged, he appointed Rubio
0:54.9	the King of France, so he'd have his head cut off. When he found out the French no longer cut
0:58.9	people's heads off, he appointed Rubio the First Lady of France and leaked the news to Candace
1:03.2	Owens. Panicked by the threat of invasion, the Danish prime minister whose name no one can pronounce
1:09.3	and who might even be a chick for all I know,
1:11.7	ordered four brigades of the 101st Hans Christian Anderson Division to sail to Greenland
1:16.9	on one of those cute little sailboats like the one in the Little Mermaid.
1:20.4	This increased the tension because despite its small size, the Danish military is renowned
1:25.2	for its tough training, though it's mostly in folk dancing.
1:28.8	Meanwhile, the administration got to work preparing for war by testing out various battle cries,
1:36.2	like damn you Danes, no one can even understand what you're saying.
1:39.6	And give us Greenland, Denmark, and none of your sneaky Danish tricks.
	...

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