EP 122: Reader Question: Why do I feel detached when I'm not drinking?

This Naked Mind Podcast

Annie Grace

Mental Health, Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness

4.7 • 2.7K Ratings

🗓️ 10 November 2018

⏱️ 9 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Let’s face it…..when we are the only ones not drinking, it can leave us feeling detached, separated, and awkward. How do we deal with this and put a positive spin on these types of scenarios? Annie gives us reassuring tips on how to approach this and ways we can change our thinking so that we don’t feel detached and isolated.

Episode Links:

National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is Annie Grace and you're listening to this naked mind podcast where without judgment,
0:16.0	pain or rules, we explore the role of alcohol in our lives and culture.
0:29.2	Hi friends, it's Annie Grace, author of this naked mind answering your questions.
0:33.2	And today I'm going to answer a follow-up question from Mark, he asked yesterday about does alcohol make you happy?
0:39.2	And so he followed up and he asked just wondering how long the effective excess alcohol has on the brain signaling pathways.
0:46.2	And again, we covered this yesterday how over time alcohol can actually make you unhappy and rob your joy from things
0:53.2	that used to make you happy because of the things that happen in the brain and the chemicals that are released to counteract alcohol.
1:00.2	So that was yesterday's video, definitely watch it if you're curious.
1:04.2	So Mark says, I've had that despite not drinking, I do struggle to get on the same wavelength as the other people around me on the occasions when they're all imbibing.
1:13.2	When I used to be a party animal, I now feel slightly detached to any tips.
1:18.2	And yes, I remember this well, I think that you know you have the initial euphoria of kind of realizing that you never have to drink again and you're not going to need to drink again.
1:28.2	And that lasts and that's really great and it gets you through a lot of the first initial social occasions just feeling free.
1:35.2	And then what happens is that the truth is that you are separate, you are doing something separate.
1:41.2	I mean, if everybody met for a poker party and you weren't playing poker, you would feel separate from your friends.
1:48.2	And I think that is just really hard and we have to say that that is just hard.
1:53.2	It is really unfortunate that people meet to drink and that we think we meet to drink because actually what we're really meeting for is for the conversation and the connections and we're social beings, we're social people.
2:06.2	And so we misinterpret both us and our friends and I think it's kind of this cycle.
2:11.2	We misinterpret when someone's not drinking that they're no longer part of that.
2:16.2	And early days when I stopped drinking, I just went to all my friends and was like, oh, I don't drink anymore, yay for me!
2:21.2	And I just had no idea that I was going to get negative reactions.
2:26.2	I mean, I was so naive on this point that I thought this is great, like of course.
2:30.2	And I had one friend call me, I hadn't seen her forever.
	...

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