Presumptive catastrophic sort of Republican nominee Donald Trump has a big job on his hands.

He has to unify the party while moving to the center for the general election while convincing

leaders he won't continue to act like a jackass while continuing to act like a jackass.

Trump got the effort underway by abandoning what only a fool could have thought of as his principles.

After claiming that any candidate who received donations was a bought and paid for agent

of financiers, Trump announced he would be soliciting donations in the hope of becoming a bought and

paid for agent of financiers. Trump's supporter said this was not a flip flop, but only a

cany example of the cany business man's cany ability to cannolly change his most

dearly held ideals for totally opposite ideals. Cannolly. Trump then went on to modify his

opposition to a minimum wage hike by turning it into support for a minimum wage hike.

Trump's supporter said this subtle shift shows the true conservatism is really leftism,

and any conservative who is an eleptus is a cuck'servative and possibly even a Jew.

Trump did take a firm stand on his own tax plan by firmly coming out against his own tax plan.

Trump's supporter said anyone who thinks this is a contradiction should be dragged from his home

and curb stomped to death, his house burned, and his memory erased from the minds of the living.

Trump says he has also shifted his religion from Christianity to Satanism and is changing his slogan

from make America great again to make America the flaming sword of the evil one in order to destroy

whatever is beautiful and good. Trump said quote, people say Jesus is Lord, but he was crucified,

I prefer a Lord who wasn't crucified. Satan has been a strong leader for hell, he's been a lot

stronger than our leaders. Trump's supporters welcomed his announcement by dancing naked around a

golden statue of the billionaire in his manifestation as the sabbatic goat baffamette ruler of this world.

Despite Trump's efforts, some Republican leaders have been reluctant to endorse their

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